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On How Did 'Forrest Gump' Ever Beat Out 'Pulp Fiction' For Best Picture?

Forrest ALSO doesn't understand that Jenny has been molested. Did Momma not explain good touches and bad touches to her special-needs son, either? Consistent ball-dropper, that Momma.

Posted on February 21, 2013 at 11:03 am 0

On Why Does Pret A Manger Think Americans Are Stupid?

Does New York have the brie, tomato, and basil baguette? Because that was one gratifying sandwich.

Posted on January 14, 2013 at 12:39 pm 0

On What Was Your Weirdest Celebrity Sex Dream?

Just last night I had a dream I went on a date with Hamilton Nolan.

Posted on November 13, 2012 at 1:08 pm 1

On Someone Needs a Cliffs Notes on "Animal Farm"

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of good fortune must be in want of a disassembled welfare state.

Posted on September 14, 2012 at 11:29 am 5

On "Roseanne" Or "Frasier"?

"Roseanne," always. Why? Dan Conner. The best husband, father, and man ever to be presented in a sitcom.

REMEMBER THE TIME HE BEAT UP FISHER???

Posted on August 10, 2012 at 12:56 pm 2

On I Personally Would Like to See a Prequel to 'Time Bandits'

From the link:

"Rania Richardson, Community Media:

While I wait for another season of 'Downton Abbey,' I wouldn't mind a prequel to 'Atonement' that follows the characters in their younger years at that gorgeous estate."

It's entirely possible she missed the point.

Posted on June 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm 2

On T. Rex Singles, Worst To Best

Man, I've never been able to fully get behind "Jeepster." Both "Metal Guru" and "Solid Gold Easy Action" are far superior.

Posted on June 4, 2012 at 12:38 pm 0

On How's Your Day Going?

Mother's Day is Sunday, but I keep thinking about how my mom will be dead someday, like my boyfriend's mom already is.

My father's dead, though, so we're even.

Posted on May 9, 2012 at 1:11 pm 0

On Balsamic Vinegar Is So Lame These Days

See Also:

Pomegranate
Chipotle peppers
Bacon infusions

Posted on May 2, 2012 at 1:42 pm 0

On There's Something About Kerry

Love this, and registered just so I could request a Jade Goody column.

Posted on September 13, 2011 at 10:56 am 1