On Mr T. Is 60
@RonMwangaguhung I really urge everyone who hasn't seen Rocky III to seek out that scene and watch it, as it's like the Mr. T Rosetta Stone. Basically, all of his catchphrases are in it, and they sort of make sense in context, eg., Interviewer: Are you angry at Mr. Balboa? Clubber Lang: I'm not mad at him, I just pity the fool!
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On When and What Do Guys Think About Pants? An Investigation
Ooh ooh, let's find a sponsor to do a Balk vs. Everyone point-counterpoint on shorts!
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On Future Brooklyn: The Dadvorcé Mancave
Good thing I'm not having kids so I won't get divorced! Also I don't live in NYC. THESE ARE THE SECRETS TO HAPPINESS EVERYBODY, JUST FYI.
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On If You Can't Tell When David Sedaris Is "Inventing," It's Your Problem
@keisertroll I know, right? Plus, I always thought it was "Troy".
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On If You Can't Tell When David Sedaris Is "Inventing," It's Your Problem
Wait, wait, Torey Malatia is a real guy and not just a running Ira Glass gag?
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On Enjoy Belgium, French Millionaires
Belgium, the country run by an actual gay socialist? This is like whiny American lefties threatening to run into the embrace of Stephen Harper.
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On Mitt Romney's Shocking Secret: I Was a Teen Illiterate!
"The old Washington theory of relativity -- stated briefly, that one is important only until a bigger brass appears -- was blatantly obvious. For when have we had the top potentates of the world here to outrank our dignitaries? We all recall the day when we saw a senator or the like in some big, black limousine drive through our town. Most likely our mouths were hanging wide open as our Mommies and Daddies told us the man out there was a very important person who worked in Washington."
Poor kid was failed by his editor, is all.
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On Is Hillary Clinton Going to Take Us to War with China?
The Spratley Islands are the Falklands of the '10s! (But more pointless, because nobody lives there, but MUCH MORE IMPORTANT because I think they're on a shitload of natural gas or something?)
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On I Have Thoughts About Commenting Systems!
Don't know if anyone is still reading this, but one of the annoying things about Disqus on Splitsider is that it seems to default to "sort by popular now." Any way this can default to "sort by oldest first"?
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On Why Can't Nigel Spell?
@Eric Spiegelman I am constantly shamed by my repeated inability to spell this word.