On What Kind Of Stupid Jerk Fires Sue Simmons?
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On Members of Congress Who Have Totally Metal Names, In Order
Tom Graves (R-GA)
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On The Final Word on Men and Shorts
When does someone get to tell assholes to quit with the Yankees-cap-and-business-suit thing?
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On Has Anyone Ever Been Happy In A Duane Reade?
It's isn't the buying of the household cleaning products -- the stuff that makes the coffee pot clear again, the stuff that makes the kitchen floor smell like gin, the stuff that makes the dining-room table devoid of grime, the stuff that makes the knick-knacks on the shelves clean, the stuff that makes the shower a shade brighter -- that gets me.
It's the part where I come home and silently use them.
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On Math–So Evil!–Destroys Young, Stupid Business
So lemme get this straight: Companies that have a business interest in having old people die are seeing those old people not die, but instead continue to live? This is terrible! (For the companies!)
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On What If Tumblr Is Gone FOREVER???
Related: My gchat is a chorus of ...and how is it only two-fuckin'-thirtys.
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On British Penises Are Poorly
BRB, moving me and my stable, reasonably profitable media consulting business to London.
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On A Proposal for a Commodities Market for the Legal World
Just fast-forward to the part where we swindle old folks out of their life insurance policies and then hope they die immediately.
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On How to Eat at Chipotle
I do order the chicken; however, I also ask for extra cheese, so I'm not entirely compromising the exacting requirements of procuring food from this establishment.
Either way, I think I'm adequately on record around here as not liking food to begin with.
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On You Are Not a Curator, You Are Actually Just a Filthy Blogger
I opened up a new tab so that I could tumblr this, and immediately felt a deep sense of shame.