On What Are The Best Audiobooks For A Road Trip?
Yes, Rebecca!!! That was by far the highlight of our many summers "Let's go to Madison, Wisconsin and pick up audio books at Cracker Barrels along the way." (I am not from Wisconsin, my family just adored it there for some reason. It was our Provincetown.) We missed our hotel check-in several times because we were driving around farmland, gripping our seats anxiously as Mrs. Danvers wrecks Mrs. de Winter's poor head.
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On "Freedom Milk": The Left, the Right, the Famous and the Paranoid Band Together
Conversations I had about raw milk while working as a dairy buyer at a particularly rigid health food store in Austin:
Customer 1: "Well, of course the Nazi FDA want to ruin small farmers. ::spits:: NAZIS."
Me: "Okay."
Customer 2: ::whispering:: "I actually have a raw milk provider. But I can't tell you his name! Oh no! So don't ask me!"
Me: "Okay."
Customer 3: "You don't sell raw milk?"
Me: "No, ma'am. We DO sell non-homogenized, lightly pasteurized milk."
Customer 3: "Oh!" ::picks up bottle:: "It's whole milk!"
Me: "Yes ma'am. That's the cream floating on top."
Customer 3: ::throws glass(!) bottle down:: "DISGUSTING!"
Me: "Okay."
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On 'The Secret History': I Know What You Did Last Reading Period
I read this post-college and reread it every 9 months or so like the way i indulge in a fancy, trashy Zombie at a tiki bar. there's all these great little asides and Francis! And Julie, the trashy coke whore with the heart of gold who maybe Richard should have just hooked up. With exception of Creepy Twins (because we all know a Camilla and guys, let that one pass), everyone is just so great.
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On From Now On, You Have to Make Your Own Red Velvet Cupcakes
According to my grandmother and her junior league friends, the proper frosting for red velvet is ½ cup of Crisco, ½ cup of butter (they say margarine but....no), 1 cup of Sugar, 1/4 cup flour, 1/2 cup milk and whatever vanilla. i know all that crisco sounds horrid but it's got the texture of whipped cream and is super heat resistant.
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On Pizza Toppings, In Order
@Alex Balk I'll concur that the ranking of fresh plum tomatoes seems right and thank you for not even bringing up the sun-dried variety.
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On Pizza Toppings, In Order
HOW DO YOU FOOD SO WRONG EVERY GODDAMN SINGLE TIME?
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On Ashton Kutcher And The Hot-Tub-Worthy Divorce Machine
@logan Agreed: Sara Miller, this fucking made my afternoon.
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On The Horrors And Pleasures Of The Columbia House Music Club In Six Albums
christ no i never did this - after some unfortunate back page of Betty and Veronica's Double Digests orders ("Four fifty in shipping for hairbands and a pencil eraser?!? Jesus, Meredith.") i was never allowed to ask my parents to get me a money order for anything ever to this day.
That said: Tell It To My Heart is still a great dance jam.
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On 50 Bill Callahan Songs, In Order
@fashion socks took the words right out of my mouth.
"it's rough" and "baby's breath" are also serious omissions.
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On 'Gone With The Wind': Devil In A Black Bombazine Dress
@jolie This sounds exactly like when I realized I was 1000X more Britta than Annie. (And being more "that way"...awful but fun, I guess? That's how I managed to steer this to ME)
But come on, you can easily replace Melanie and Scarlett as the Angel and Devil on your shoulders - or as reps of Ego and Id, however you want to run your duality. Melanie made me cry more, so there's that.