On Man House-proud
You know when you visit people at their house for the first time and they eagerly say, "Would you like to see the house?" I always say no.
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On "Dogs In Pantyhose" Latest Example Of Just How Fucking Weird The World Is Now
I don't have a lot of time to gambol through the web lately, but it warms my soul to scan the headlines on The Awl and just know which one is a Balk.
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On Your Sexy Chin May Not Be Enough To Seal The Deal
Why? So something lessens the impact of your face on the table when you pass out drunk, and avoids damage to the upper teeth. Sheesh, you should know that, Balk.
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On Asshole College Kids Apparently Now Way Worse Than Ever
@amuselouche @amuselouche I just saw a quote from the Chechen president on the news here in Spain, and he blamed the young men's behavior on the American school system (for reals).
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On Men Suddenly Abandon Socks!
Guys steal everything. First they started having "feelings", now they're appropriating First No-Sock Day. Oh, what a world.
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On We Must Stop This Fourth "Jurassic Park" Movie
Have I told you lately that I love you all?
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On Ask Polly: How Do I Stop Faking Orgasms With My Boyfriend?
Thank you, Polly, and fuck you, Nora Ephron, for the creepy fake-orgasm-deli-scene in When Prissy Met Doofus.
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On Your Depression Makes You Suck In Other Ways Besides Just Being Sad
"They recorded the amount of alcohol the participants consumed, defining light-to-moderate drinking as about half a drink per day for women and one daily drink for men." This only makes sense if "light to moderate" means from sun-up to mid-morning.
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On There's Always Time To Shop
Tilda Swinton can pee. She just chooses not to.
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On American Cities I'd Prefer To See Get Blown Up In The Movies Instead of New York
@NotAndersonCooper No. Not Portland, Maine. No unneccesary slaughter of lobsters, please (unless the city is destroyed with a tsunami of melted butter.)