@NotAndersonCooper No. Not Portland, Maine. No unneccesary slaughter of lobsters, please (unless the city is destroyed with a tsunami of melted butter.)
You know when you visit people at their house for the first time and they eagerly say, "Would you like to see the house?" I always say no.
I don't have a lot of time to gambol through the web lately, but it warms my soul to scan the headlines on The Awl and just know which one is a Balk.
Why? So something lessens the impact of your face on the table when you pass out drunk, and avoids damage to the upper teeth. Sheesh, you should know that, Balk.
@amuselouche @amuselouche I just saw a quote from the Chechen president on the news here in Spain, and he blamed the young men's behavior on the American school system (for reals).
Guys steal everything. First they started having "feelings", now they're appropriating First No-Sock Day. Oh, what a world.
Have I told you lately that I love you all?
Thank you, Polly, and fuck you, Nora Ephron, for the creepy fake-orgasm-deli-scene in When Prissy Met Doofus.
"They recorded the amount of alcohol the participants consumed, defining light-to-moderate drinking as about half a drink per day for women and one daily drink for men." This only makes sense if "light to moderate" means from sun-up to mid-morning.
Tilda Swinton can pee. She just chooses not to.