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On Hi, What Have You Guys Been Up To?

@jolie I was trawling Twitter for Awl and Choire updates, the way you wander the halls of your apartment building during a blackout, looking for someone with their door open and playing WNYC on an old transistor radio. (Ah, the magical blackout of 2003.)

Posted on March 21, 2013 at 5:50 pm 0

On Hi, What Have You Guys Been Up To?

@MisterHippity Google told me that The Awl "got a girl that way."

Posted on March 21, 2013 at 5:48 pm 2

On The Five Worst Kinds of Co-Workers

@sharilyn She has to be a stay-at-home mom to protect her kids from getting the crap beat out of them daily by other kids for having dopey names.

Posted on March 18, 2013 at 1:17 pm 2

On The Five Worst Kinds of Co-Workers

I thought "having it all" meant being rich enough to not have to work.

Posted on March 18, 2013 at 12:23 pm 7

On The Five Worst Kinds of Co-Workers

@NinetyNine What? And wake him up?

Posted on March 18, 2013 at 12:23 pm 9

On Do You Know Why We Tell Ourselves Stories?

I tell myself stories to fall asleep, or justify my credit card balance.

Posted on March 18, 2013 at 12:07 pm 0

On Whistleblower: Met Fundraising Tactics Go Beyond Stink-Eye

I give them $5. If I get a comment or snotty look from the cashier (which I usually do), I tell them I'll be needing the other $20 when I go to their cafeteria for a coffee and a muffin.

Posted on March 18, 2013 at 11:59 am 0

On Did You Accidentally Fertilize An Egg During Hurricane Sandy, Thereby Bringing About The End Times?

My parents were in New England during Hurricane Carol (August, '54) and I was born in May '55. It might be a weird reason to come into the world, but it can't be any worse than say, a some misguided urges caused by a tew foo many Appletinis and a Netflix streaming of "Love, Actually". I'll take chaos and destruction over that any day.

Posted on February 28, 2013 at 3:26 pm 0

On Appeal Of 'How I Met Your Mother' Finally Explained

This explains mayonnaise, chamber music, and sex with men with full beards.

Posted on February 27, 2013 at 2:30 pm 0

On Should You Be Allowed To Work From Home? (Answer: No)

@CaptBackslap This is obviously a shot from a tech-themed porn movie. "Repetitive Motion SINdrome". "Wow, Dirk that's such a...big tablet. Can I touch your screen?"

Posted on February 26, 2013 at 4:14 pm 2