On The Five Worst Kinds of Co-Workers
Everyone thinks smokers or the worst, but we're really the best. At my tiny company of 13 co-workers, nobody smokes but me & one other dude. At every company event, suddenly around drink 3 or 4, everybody is all up on our jocks to steal our delicious delicious stank-tubes, because once the inhibitions and rational mind get hobbled a bit, everyone let's loose w/ the truth they have inside:
Gross-smelling death machines are sexy & amazing.
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On New York City to Ban Awls
Now I'm going to have to start killing motherfuckers with No. 4 Smoothing Plane
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On 'Crash': The Most Loathsome Best Picture Of Them All
@City_Dater - For me it was when that pile of shit "Braveheart" beat out "Babe".
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On Note To Future Civilizations: This Is How The Human Race Ran Out The Clock
@deepomega - I am so confused by this. I thought the harlem shake was just an old dance that got repopularized a dozen years ago (which, I mean, is also accurate).
Why are people doing this? Also, I can't help but feel that, much like I'm pretty wonder if Gangam Style was only popular because of a "Haha look at that goofy korean" racist sentiment paired with it's catchy beat, maybe this is just some "Name of Dance Includes Neighborhood Famous for Historic Black Culture" + "White People Dancing Poorly" = Laffs? / tosh.0 level racial-shock 'humor'.
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On "House of Cards," Episodes 1-3: Bloggers With Their Wine
All I can think of is "Andre Blaugher."
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On Hot Sauce Gestalt Reveals Bitter Absurdities Of City Life
I sympathize a lot with Gould's sentiment, but there's a flip-side to this that's easy to forget if you rarely leave the NY-Axis-Of-Places.
Living in NYC/LA/SF is expensive, the places we go with friends because "everyone goes there" (I'm looking at you, Fire Island and Cape Cod) are expensive, and no matter how well you feel like you're doing, there is someone in your social circle that makes you feel like a fucking pauper. Friendships die because someone gets a lucky break (read: years of busting their ass happens to pay off), and all of the sudden they're doing stuff you can't afford to six nights a week.
But, we do make a lot more money for the same work than other people in other places. The salary I, or most of my friends make, might not buy us a whole lot here, but it's a lot more money per year than I'd make for the same work in Raleigh or Des Moines - if I could even find the same jobs there.
And you know when that's awesome? When you want to travel outside the axis. Your NYC salary buys you a lot more for 18 months saving in France or Chile or New Orleans than 18 months of saving would if you lived in one of those non-NYC places.
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On Ask Polly: I Can't Resist Great Sex With My Crazy Ex!
@ContainsHotLiquid - Careful with leading people on. I feel like if you keep this encouragement up next, thing you know she is going to think that if she keeps pursuing writing she's going to be able write imaginative & beloved pieces on really popular websites.
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On Ask Polly: I Can't Resist Great Sex With My Crazy Ex!
I don't want to be a writer, but I drink with plenty of people who do. The fact that they haven't actually written, let alone published, anything ever doesn't really stop them. They drift aimlessly from bar to bar, job to job, and they KNOW they are going to be writers one day.
Judging from these guys - and you MUST be a guy - the way to become a writer is to read Hemmingway and HST nonstop, and then do everything in your power to live like them. Drink constantly, bounce from woman to woman in a shitty way, take up arms against Generalismo Franciso Franco.
Above all, remember what they say: Write Drunk, Edit Drunker.
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On I Want To Know What's Wrong With Being An Internet Troll
Can we just have a series where Blodget, over time, becomes a full-on houellebecq character?
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On What Grown Men Look Like In Shorts
I thought this was going to be a rick-roll, because grown men don't wear short pants outside of athletic situations & beachgoing.