Can I smear my clothes with blueberries and go backpacking in southern washington tho? For realsis, I am a MESSY blueberry eater lololo
@Leon - I mean how the hell are you supposed to fight the bad guys without eating your high protein pseudo-cereals?
They asked what the hell quinoa was?
I'm terrified they're going to come to my house, find out I have amaranth, and extraordinarily rendite me on the spot.
On Critic More
I know it's like every time I'm on twitter, I think to myself, geez, why is everyone so guarded and reluctant to express how they really feel about things?
Because I have shitty priorities and nicotine withdrawal, nothing inconsequential in life has ever made me as grumpy as this article.
(1)The reporting is so fucking unfocused. (2)85% of what it says about chopped salads also applies to tossed salads at Build Your Own Salad stands. (3)The difference, and alleged reasons people prefer chopped salads over tossed are not mentioned til the FIFTEENTH FUCKING PARAGRAPH, after the next page bumper on the website (4)Their reasons are so weird and dumb (5)Including the word millenials is such hilariously aggressive straight-up trollery; it is the fuck AMAZING that the newspaper industry is in such a sorry state that a paper we can make fun of as much as the NY Times can still be the best paper out there (6)Chopped salads are fucking bogus (7)People that want to eat a taste of everything they put in their salad with every fucking bite need to learn some god damned discipline (8)WHAT IN FUCK IS WRONG WITH EATING JUST A CHERRY TOMATO, have you ever tasted a fucking cherry tomato THEY ARE FUCKING DELICIOUS (9)People who need every sensation their salad offers all at once probably can't dance or fuck very well (10)The lady they interviewed who said lentils are great in a salad, fuck, man, I can't disagree with that at all, lentils are really great.
@Peteykins - I feel like a too twee highlights for children for adults is the only magazine left that would definitely make money.
@La Cieca - I quit smoking a month ago and loved this article. I've sworn to never be one of those quitters who is the worst when I quit.
And yeah, ya know? Smoking might be expensive and bad for you (I quit cuz my doctor yelled at me, like, a lot and told me I was probably going to die young - which, I'm at an age now where dying and going to dinner at 4PM are the ONLY circumstances in which I might be called young) and I'm well over the physical addiction, but I still wish I could smoke.
Because smoking is fucking awesome and it feels good and it makes you look cool and fuckin' sexy. I feel bad for everyone who is never a smoker.
@hershmire pretty sure millennials just love ee cummings
In fairness to mall cops, at least they can tell you where the Pacific Sunwear is.
Joe Budden's "Dear haters, I’m a 2 hit wonder now you Fucktards." posted this past December, nine years after his previous hit, is basically the pinnacle of twitter.