Everybody knows that musicals are among the easiest things to write and produce. The only things you need to create a successful musical are: the ability to make music out of nowhere, without cribbing from songs you've already heard; a flair for drama and a deep understanding of the human condition; and, lastly, a rhyming dictionary. Writing a brilliant musical should take anywhere from one to three hours, by my mathematical calculations. If it takes you longer than that, you've over-thought it. I've already written sixteen musicals, I'm just fine-tuning them and waiting until the world is ready to receive them before I let those babies fly. I have all the music and stuff, it's written down in a spiral notebook. I basically took notes and put them together in ways that made brand new songs that sound nothing like anything you've ever heard. It's not as though I ripped off Xanadu, not even a little bit. In fact, I used notes that don't even exist yet, like R flat. Coming up with an original musical score was actually easier than all of the other complicated technical details I've figured out, such as where to put lights or who will play Dr. Snood in my apocalyptic tour de force, Cannibal Apocalypse: 2012: The Musical. READ MORE