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On Jonathan Franzen And Clay Shirky Fight Over Their Girlfriend, The Internet

This post has been up for hours and yet nobody has transformed that glorious photo of Jonathan Franzen into a meme? If Franzen sneering and making scare-quotes with his fingers isn't the best excuse for a macro in creation, then the Internet with which he has such a tortured relationship really is for naught after all. I submit this for an opening gambit.

(I mean, yes, yes, it's nice to see that he conducted himself well on your birthday and all, good show Mr. Franzen, but seriously this meme needs to happen.)

Posted on October 7, 2013 at 9:14 pm 1

On A Poem By Patricia Lockwood

This poem changed me. Thank you.

Posted on July 25, 2013 at 9:45 pm 1

On How 'Minority Report' Trapped Us In A World Of Bad Interfaces

PREACH IT. People look at me like I'm crazycakes when I express regret at the fact that I'm no longer able to skip a song on an MP3 player while the player's still in my pocket. And don't even get me started about the steady decline in my texting speed over the past ten years; I think even T9 was faster than Swype. Touchscreens are the devil.

Posted on February 28, 2013 at 10:12 am 0

On A Handy Test for Reddit Users: Are You on the Internet Right Now?

Time was, I would have written a rule like #2 as well. But I have recently been informed by trustworthy sources that the Internet has leaked onto certain small objects, like phones and music players (?). Be careful when handling small objects! Apparently they too might put you on the Internet, even if your computer has been turned off.

Posted on November 5, 2012 at 12:23 pm 1

On The First Video That Meant Something To Me: The Birthday Party's "Nick the Stripper"

Young Australian men with wild hair held firm by drying egg whites mill about a night near a fire where pigs' heads on sticks are hoisted high.

This is the greatest garden-path sentence in the English language.

Posted on September 14, 2012 at 12:31 pm 0

On Why We Hate-Search

@skahammer We noticed that too.

Posted on July 31, 2012 at 3:31 pm 0

On Today Only: The Awl Is Auditioning New Commenters!

@Minou Last I heard, that job was outsourced to eHarmony.

Posted on April 18, 2012 at 3:22 pm 0

On 'The Secret History': I Know What You Did Last Reading Period

@jfruh The fact that the protagonist misjudged the nature of the MYSTERY was sort of interesting; the problem is, her mistakenness about that left, well, no other tension in the book. I wish Tartt had found some other thread to pick up that would make the whole thing feel meaningful. Instead, the whole book sort of felt like it was about nothing, which made me hate it maybe a bit more than it deserved.

All that having been said, the opening chapter of The Little Friend was gorgeous and chilling, arguably better than anything in The Secret History. I'm sad that the promise of that chapter never really paid out.

Posted on March 21, 2012 at 9:07 pm 0

On How To Share Your Good News With Friends

NUMBER NINE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ADVICE IN THE WORLD AND SHOULD BE TATTOOED ON EVERYBODY'S FACES

Posted on March 1, 2012 at 5:20 pm 1

On Sympathy For Jonathan Franzen

@barnhouse Michael Chabon, OBVIOUSLY.

Posted on February 28, 2012 at 2:11 pm 1