This post has been up for hours and yet nobody has transformed that glorious photo of Jonathan Franzen into a meme? If Franzen sneering and making scare-quotes with his fingers isn't the best excuse for a macro in creation, then the Internet with which he has such a tortured relationship really is for naught after all. I submit this for an opening gambit.
(I mean, yes, yes, it's nice to see that he conducted himself well on your birthday and all, good show Mr. Franzen, but seriously this meme needs to happen.)
This poem changed me. Thank you.
PREACH IT. People look at me like I'm crazycakes when I express regret at the fact that I'm no longer able to skip a song on an MP3 player while the player's still in my pocket. And don't even get me started about the steady decline in my texting speed over the past ten years; I think even T9 was faster than Swype. Touchscreens are the devil.
Time was, I would have written a rule like #2 as well. But I have recently been informed by trustworthy sources that the Internet has leaked onto certain small objects, like phones and music players (?). Be careful when handling small objects! Apparently they too might put you on the Internet, even if your computer has been turned off.
Young Australian men with wild hair held firm by drying egg whites mill about a night near a fire where pigs' heads on sticks are hoisted high.
This is the greatest garden-path sentence in the English language.
@skahammer We noticed that too.
@Minou Last I heard, that job was outsourced to eHarmony.
@jfruh The fact that the protagonist misjudged the nature of the MYSTERY was sort of interesting; the problem is, her mistakenness about that left, well, no other tension in the book. I wish Tartt had found some other thread to pick up that would make the whole thing feel meaningful. Instead, the whole book sort of felt like it was about nothing, which made me hate it maybe a bit more than it deserved.
All that having been said, the opening chapter of The Little Friend was gorgeous and chilling, arguably better than anything in The Secret History. I'm sad that the promise of that chapter never really paid out.
NUMBER NINE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ADVICE IN THE WORLD AND SHOULD BE TATTOOED ON EVERYBODY'S FACES
@barnhouse Michael Chabon, OBVIOUSLY.