"Nice" is a state of mind.

On Shocking Study Reveals Men Not All That Into Cuddling

Yeah, right. Like I want to swap funky saliva in the AM while he fumbles for a condom? Bitch, please - hit the road before I dutch oven your pasty ass!

Posted on October 14, 2010 at 12:09 pm 0

On Bear Does Yoga

Morning stretches, my arse.
Girlfriend's a brazen hussy flashing her lady bits for some AM action.

Posted on September 20, 2010 at 1:12 pm 0

On Cars, Emergency Rooms Kill White People A Lot Less

I'll have a large order of White Guilt with a side of Homicidal Tendency, please.

Posted on September 2, 2010 at 10:34 pm 0

On How to Cook the Ideal Fourth Date Meal

Aww..this is so sweet.
My 4th dates consist of a complimentary bowl of Cheerios and 10 bucks for the cab ride home.

Posted on August 31, 2010 at 9:13 am 0

On The Second Worst Supergroup Of All Time

Anyone who considers Broken Social Scene a supergroup has no business passing judgement on the likes of Audioslave and Velvet Revolver.

It's like asking an Etch-A-Sketch artist to critique a Picasso. Like seriously, come the fuck on.

Posted on August 23, 2010 at 10:32 pm 0

On Turtle Crosses Street

I predict "There was a turtle on the highway" will replace the standard "My alarm didn't go off" late-to-work excuse.

Posted on August 18, 2010 at 12:38 am 0

On In Defense of Having Children

That's a gamble I'm not willing to take.

Posted on August 11, 2010 at 10:55 am 0

On In Defense of Having Children


I've been living at home with ma and bro for 6 long days now, and witnessing the number my parents have played on him has shriveled my womb to the size of a peanut. He's got so much potential, and yet so little incentive to do anything with it. The cute kid I grew up with is long gone and has been replaced by a bipolar Dr.Jekyll/Mr.Hyde. My only hope is that if/when he snaps, my mom won't be caught up in his fury. Yes, he's really that dangerous, she's in absolute denial about it, and the sooner I get out of here, the better.

Of course humans will continue to procreate in the face of innumerable reasons not to. We're the only species born without survival instincts and capable of rationalizing ourselves into a bigger hole than the one we came from.

But aren't babies just the cutest little things???

Posted on August 11, 2010 at 1:05 am 0

On And You WILL Die Alone

*slow clap* Bra-fucking-vo.

Posted on August 6, 2010 at 10:32 pm 0

On The Last Day In The Office

In less than 8 hours, I, too will be vacating a building I've occupied since 2006. It's a sweet spot, but only today I realized that the amenities I've enjoyed over the years were acquired by means that'll never be regarded as legitimate. Basically, I "cheated" my way in and now I'm off to browner pastures where the company leaves much to be desired.

So, here's to starting all over again. Hopefully when I resurface, my coat will shine with a patina of respectability and I'll move back into this neighbourhood before all the good spots are taken.

BTW: Good stuff, MK.

Posted on August 5, 2010 at 1:26 am 0