On Today Only: The Awl Is Auditioning New Commenters!
In joke. (Snarky parenthetical interjection!) In joke.
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On Writers Have Always Been Hustlers
In Maupassant's defense, he was possibly suffering from neuro-syphilis at the time, extreme megalomania being one of the symptoms. Doesn't account for the poor taste in facial hair.
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On Video of Anti-Muslim Protests in Southern California--And D.C.!
Orange County is the New Jersey of California.
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On Ibid.
I feel like I was just bludgeoned by a creative writing workshop.
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On "Operation Bristol" Just Does Not Exist
Vote stuffing or not, the very question merely plays into the greater Palin persecution narrative; more fuel for her and her supporters perpetual outrage machine.
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On Cheer Up, Everyone!
Pessimism is an ameliorant.
Don't worry; when you wake up tomorrow, it'll be worse.
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On Dead Prez and Divine, "Malcolm, Garvey, Huey"
Also totally excellent:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubMQkPzc0Fs
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On How to Pick Up a Hipster Girl
How to pick up a Hipster Girl.
Step One:
Be a coke dealer.
The rest is superfluous though not very sponsor friendly.
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On How To Stand Out As An Actor: "Just Finished Playing a Rapist"!
such witty rapeartee.
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On Cheer Up, You're Going To Die
"Life is not so desirable a thing as to be protracted at any cost. Whoever you are, you are sure to die, even though your life has been full of abomination and crime. The chief of all remedies for a troubled mind is the feeling that among the blessings which Nature gives to man, there is none greater than an opportune death; and the best of it is that every one can avail himself of it."
http://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/s/schopenhauer/arthur/pessimism/chapter3.html#fn12