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On The End of Slogans

Someone got paid to write this

Posted on May 20, 2014 at 4:02 pm 0

On Something Ordinary In The Air

So weird. You can fly from A to B for $400. OK, now you can fly from A to B for $400, and also some suckers will sit in front of you and pay way more than $400 so they can get a glass of shitty champagne or whatever.

I like the "Working Class" thing though. That they recoiled so instinctually from the name says a lot. Still, it would have been a terrible idea to actually do it.

Posted on August 7, 2013 at 1:45 pm 0

On Why Does Pret A Manger Think Americans Are Stupid?

@Morbo Hell, the name "Pret a Manger" itself is a gussied up way of saying "We made this food a while ago and you can eat it, if you want."

Posted on January 14, 2013 at 3:19 pm 1

On Your Life Sucks: A Recent History of "The New Niceness"

...it's pretty easy to make the point that you're all a bunch of complacent stupid assholes... dithering your days away... while financial institutions remake America and destroy the middle class...

So, the world getting shittier isn't the fault of any of these institutions or the people within them, it's the fault of people pickling cabbage and playing Angry Birds. Who presumably, instead of pickling cabbage, should be out saving the streets from investment bankers. Stupid normal people, why are you stupidly enjoying your stupid normal lives instead of being valiant class warriors?!?

Or maybe that little crack was meant ironically.

On a related note, this weekend I made the "Crack Brownies" this site lists the recipe for. They were delicious, and my wife and I really enjoyed them. We didn't encounter any trading-desk managers or lobbyists.

Posted on November 19, 2012 at 1:36 pm 0

On David Edelstein's Enduring Fixation On Keira Knightley's Jaw, Documented

Well, you know, God doesn't care how big your jaw is. Yes, you could go to a dentist and you could, whoo -- you could grind off about, I don't know, 30%, maybe more. Yeah, I wouldn't miss it.

Posted on November 16, 2012 at 2:34 pm 1

On Defending Manhattan From America: Pete Wells and Guy Fieri

It is right and good to call shitty things shitty. If you're gonna make garbage food and sell it at high prices, at least do a good job of it.

Posted on November 14, 2012 at 12:06 pm 0

On Politico "conflates the work of journalism with an amnesiac’s bad acid trip."

Haha, those stupid liberals care about things, and stuff. Buncha fags.

Posted on November 5, 2012 at 12:52 pm 0

On Ask Polly: I Can't Stop Procrastinating!

Great answer on the age gap. Thank you for keeping it real when talking about waiting to have babies.

Posted on October 31, 2012 at 12:39 pm 3

On Your Lunchmeat Vs. The Machines

> "Hots"? What are "hots"? Hot peppers?

Nah, you can get crushed-up Red Hots sprinkled on your sandwich. If you know how to ask, that is.

("Gimme some hots" is not how you ask. Only a square would say that.)

Posted on October 23, 2012 at 10:33 am 0

On Microsoft To Become Cool, Too

They'll probably hold off on hip-hop for a while after getting their store all smashed up.

Posted on October 12, 2012 at 11:57 am 0