no thank you
On Meet The Awl
I'm going to go ahead and say this sounds terrific. I know some creative types who run their own companies and it is pretty much the worst. Much better to free yourself of the grind so you can get back to creating.
Kirin seems awesome and has a beautiful way of expressing a complex thing. But the interviewer is weird to even suggest that Kirin is "repressed" or "a bad feminist." Pretty sure taking charge of your sexual choices makes you a great feminist.
@KarenUhOh Preach it.
@Xenu01 I'm also in the break-up camp. I think the LW is figuring out what love is. What she feels for this guy is not love. But it's part of the journey that will get her there. I was with a super nice guy who drove me f-ing nuts with his tics and attention. Guess what I learned? I wasn't in love with him! It's easy for me to say now that I'm with someone who DOESN'T make my skin crawl. LW: If he makes your skin crawl, your body is telling you something. Let him go, spend some time with yourself and your child, and someone who is actually a match for you will come along.
@sallysitwell I agree. I think the LWs should automatically get a little benefit of the doubt because they're seeking help, and really, that's a positive step that leaves you vulnerable. Polly should leaven her criticism with compassion for the fact that these people really sincerely want her help. That said, a smackdown like this does make for excellent reading.
I traveled to another state to spend New Year's with a best friend once. The first night I was there, she went on a blind date that I guess she couldn't wait to schedule after I left. Five years later, she is married to this dude, and we're just not part of each other's lives anymore. We see each other and weddings and stuff and it's cool, but we'll never be what we were.
I think what both LWs need to remember is that friendships go through phases. People serve a purpose in your life - all-encompassing bestie or bar buddy or whatever - and then you gradually phase into another part of your life. It doesn't diminish what this friend meant to you at this time. But you have to accept that life circumstances and priorities change, and friendships too. Accept it and save yourself a lot of anguish.
Argh, I posted a response to LW1 and it got deleted! LW1, I feel you so much. But remember that couplehood is not necessarily equal to happiness. A line from a Carolyn Hax column really hit home for me, and she reran it this week: "Sobbing in bed alone may seem like hitting bottom, but imagine sobbing while an uncaring other watches TV two rooms away."
So be happy in yourself now. Right Guy will come along some day, and he might not be in the form you were looking for in your 20s. I know - it happened to me, and I wasn't sure it ever would. Find your solace, because ultimately YOU are responsible for your own joy, not your boyfriend, not your friends, not your mom or dad. Maybe your dog. But that's about it. Best wishes. I know you can do it.
@Mr. B I actually think this sweet little non-story should be more present in our universe. Because isn't this how reality really is? It's not all NSA leaks and best bikini bods (I'm covering the spectrum). I kinda like just checking in on New Yorkers, which is what this style of piece on the Awl has always done.
FWIW my last dream was about how I'm tired all the time. I got a shot of B12, but it was just my own blood somehow fortified and concentrated into superblood. I don't know if it made me feel any better.