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Smitros

Smitros

If you like my comments, you just might like my books. A list is available at the link: http://www.amazon.com/J.D.-Smith/e/B001K7ROH4/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

By Mr. B on Four Twenty

Next week, expect the BBC to run a "features and analysis" story explaining the "33" on Rolling Rock bottles.

Posted on April 18, 2014 at 1:40 pm 1

By KarenUhOh on Portland Teen Makes Water Artisanal

I see a Chinatown sequel in this somewhere, a Josh-Harnett-is-Jake-Gittes'-grandson-transplanted-Forest-Service-Detective-type thing, I'm thinking out loud now, maybe The Three Shakes. . .

Posted on April 17, 2014 at 3:53 pm 2

By Clarence Rosario on Oysters Shucked

Meh. I once ate an entire Maine lobster on the F train. With drawn butter. And a shrimp cocktail to start.

Saved the steak for when I got home. I mean, I'm not some kind of animal.

Posted on April 17, 2014 at 3:50 pm 3

By Gef the Talking Mongoose on Oysters Shucked

@KarenUhOh : YESSS these are the anecdotes for which comments were invented.

Posted on April 17, 2014 at 2:21 pm 3

By KarenUhOh on Oysters Shucked

Years ago, back before our self-awareness became genetically coded, I boarded the Chicago "L" in the subway under State Street on a day when it had to be 90 outside and a good ten degrees north of that in the tube. Of course, the a/c on the car I entered had long ago evaporated into the great ice bucket in the sky.

Also, of course, the car was jammed. My position was standing, in front of the "handicapped" seats next to the door, where sat a woman of indeterminate age (I'd say mid-50's), who was bundled up in a winter cloth coat and woolen hat.

This lady opened a large green Tupperware container, removed a plastic fork from her coat pocket, and began to eat potato salad. "Classic" potato salad, all meaty chunks of potato and celery and olive, stagnant in a viscous goo of yellowing mayonnaise. It was obvious from the aroma that this dish had been nowhere near a refrigerator for quite some time.

Also obvious: the bundled-up lady forking this hash into her maw had a mustache. A GIANT, feathery mustache. Captain Kangaroo would have felt his lip to make sure his wasn't stolen.

Large chunks of this potato salad soon became lodged in the mustache. The lady also stoically abjured shutting her mouth as she chewed.

Next to her sat the most proper, prim lady, also "of a certain age," that you can imagine: designer business suit, spiked heels, made up within an inch of her life, even in that heat. She had been professionally oblivious through this, until the odor hit. . .and when it did, she glanced over, in that slight, sideways urban way, at what was next to her--whereupon she gagged, and placed her hand up alongside her face for the duration of her ride.

She lasted two stops.

Posted on April 17, 2014 at 1:26 pm 6

By scrooge on Where Am I? And What Time Is It?

OK, but first how do you kill and cook a wildebeest?

Posted on April 16, 2014 at 8:21 pm 1

By Blousey Brown on Ask Polly: How Do I Make My Boyfriend Listen?

LW, I'm so sorry you haven't felt comfortable sharing this huge part of your life with your boyfriend for fear he won't give you the attention and care you deserve. What an awful, shaky feeling, as if the grief itself weren't hard enough.

I truly think good listening is non-negotiable. It might even be everything.

Posted on April 16, 2014 at 4:10 pm 2

By wheelborrow on Ask Polly: How Do I Make My Boyfriend Listen?

This reply was immensely therapeutic; I am a young man and feel that this describes me incredibly well. I want to talk and share! That's okay!

Posted on April 16, 2014 at 1:32 pm 3

By Multiphasic on Small Awl Old

Imagine the inspiration were archaeologists to unearth a tarnished newsletter.

Posted on April 15, 2014 at 3:47 pm 5

By ejcsanfran on Salman Rushdie Still Miffed At Cat Stevens For That Whole "Calling For His Death" Thing

Oooo, Salman, Salman, it's wild world...

Posted on April 10, 2014 at 11:28 am 1