On The Day The Polar Bear Learned About Snow

WHY is this video not longer!!!!!!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted on January 30, 2014 at 10:03 am 0

On How To Save Thanksgiving: It's Fingo!

Perfect! Thank you.

Posted on November 26, 2013 at 8:20 pm 0

On This Will Be The Way We Brush Our Teeth, Brush Our Teeth, Brush Our Teeth, This Will Be The Way We Brush Our Teeth Early In The Morning In The Future

The problem with the dentist is that it reduces you to a set of teeth. When you're there, your entire self-worth, basically, becomes your mouth. So when they're like, ohhh is that the color you're happiest with? You (I) hear "you are revolting; any positive thought you've ever had about yourself is wrong." The moments of pain are pretty fucking horrible, too, but the moments of almost-pain are even worse. Like, is this even hurting? and sometimes you can't tell because it doesn't, exactly, but it all feels wrong. Like, that "this shouldn't be happening."

I went to the dentist today, actually, partially because I hadn't been in a while, but also because I had gum recession on this one tooth (hot), and I was like omg this is the crack in the windshield? are they going to find ... I don't know, death embodied somewhere within it? I don't know, whatever. But it turned out to be fine, except she was like, you're brushing too hard. And it's like ... ugh it's like this self-perpetuating thing. Every problem I have with my teeth, currently, I have because of previous dental procedures, or because of generally believed & encouraged dental practices. And all the hot, shitty-toothed people in the wild west were fine, right? I mean, no, but also whatever. Teeth weren't such a calling card. Fuck teeth. No but I love teeth.

It's almost like other people don't take out their sadnesses, fears, and anxieties while brushing their teeth because if they can just clean hard enough it bleaches everything in their heads for a sec.

That said, Alex, I know of a good place. Also I am switching to Sonicare.

Posted on October 1, 2013 at 5:17 pm 1

On Finally, Science Has Learned How Monkeys Swim

we think we're peopleee

Posted on August 8, 2013 at 3:11 pm 0

On What Happens After You Meet The Devil? The Life Of Mary MacLane

Loved this. Thank you.

Posted on March 27, 2013 at 1:33 am 2

On Dear Mom

Thank you

Posted on March 19, 2013 at 2:15 pm 0

On How To Be A Monster: Life Lessons From Lord Byron

So good.

Posted on March 16, 2013 at 12:02 pm 0

On NYT Notes That Owls Are Popular Animals

@deepomega What do you THINK I'm thinking of??

Posted on February 26, 2013 at 3:32 pm 0

On NYT Notes That Owls Are Popular Animals

Haha, burned by the slow scroll -- "oh, hot guy, nice, oh, okay, hm, wait, okay, he's holding an owl, hmm never mind."

Posted on February 26, 2013 at 12:58 pm 1

On The Question

Wonderful, Maria, thank you. As always.

Posted on January 3, 2013 at 11:51 pm 1