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On Ask Polly: Why Am I Deathly Afraid of Success?

FWIW, all you TV programmers in the audience, I would watch the HELL out of a show called 'Spraypaint Huffers'.

Posted on April 23, 2014 at 3:00 pm 0

On Ask Polly: Why Am I Deathly Afraid of Success?

43-year-old painter here, and feeling like this column was written just for me. Thank you!

I will only dissemble here to say that - there is limited worth to forcing yourself to do things. Sure, you can get through a tough patch that way, particularly if there's a time limit and it just needs to happen now. But most things in the creative world aren't like that. There's also value to be had in slowing down and listening to your own resistance to find out what it's trying to tell you. The answer may surprise you!

Of course at the end of the day its all about being able to trust oneself and one's own instincts. Which is much trickier for those of us from abusive/addicted/codependent/etc backgrounds. But it is SO worth doing! Thrusting yourself into a freedom you don't feel 100% great about is a recipe for a nervous breakdown. Particularly when everyone around you expects you to be wallowing in your grand success.

Posted on April 23, 2014 at 2:25 pm 1

On Why Do People Do It In The Women's Room?

Women's restrooms are INVARIABLY cleaner.

Posted on April 17, 2014 at 9:10 am 1

On Ask Polly: How Do I Make My Boyfriend Listen?

From my perspective, someone who won't listen AND/OR won't share is someone who doesn't completely trust you. A person that won't listen doesn't trust you to have boundaries, or know when to stop, or not go emotionally off the rails while talking about emotional topics. That person possibly doesn't have good boundaries him/herself either, so taking on even a little of your stuff can feel terrifying. And a person who won't share about problems they face or feelings they're having doesn't trust you enough to show you any part of their unvarnished self.

You can have a relationship with someone who doesn't really trust you, but it's probably not going to be a close relationship. And if you are yourself a trusting person, the relationship is going to feel pretty stale/cold/numb to you. Maybe you can find out if that person is even capable of trusting other people - really there are some people who are so scarred they don't trust anyone at all. And if they are, you can find out how to foster trust in you. But if they aren't trusting or open with anyone, you might as well be trying to date someone with whom you do not share a common language - it's possible, but mostly unpleasant and with plenty of misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Posted on April 16, 2014 at 7:05 pm 2

On What We're Saying When We Say We Hate Facebook

Alternate, related theory: what they are really saying is 'I'm avoiding work and wish my friends weren't such a bunch of supercilious douchebags, posting selfies and cat videos and crap links'

Posted on April 16, 2014 at 3:55 pm 1

On Pesach In Williamsburg

These photos seem … random? accidental? I'm not sure what information they are attempting to convey.

Posted on April 16, 2014 at 11:09 am 0

On My Hairdo Is Not Your Safari

what in holy hell. If I went through daily life aware that random people wanted to touch my hair without permission I WOULD GO INSANE.

Wait, why don't people want to touch my hair? Is it not pretty enough?

Posted on April 8, 2014 at 9:46 am 0

On Prudish Child Files Suit

MAKE IT RAIN

Posted on April 8, 2014 at 9:39 am 0

On Ask Polly: I'm 33 And Single. What Am I Doing Wrong?

Friends, keep in mind that men who are relationship-minded are mostly in relationships. They aren't single very often! And so it can seem like most of the men we meet out on the open market are worthless cads, but those are the guys who are avoiding attachment. There's just more of them in the dating pool. SO yeah, the stars kind of have to align for you if you want a relationship with one of the relationship-minded ones, but it's totally worth it!

Posted on April 2, 2014 at 7:07 pm 1

On Ask Polly: I'm 33 And Single. What Am I Doing Wrong?

@missedconnections PREACH

Posted on April 2, 2014 at 7:01 pm 0