There was recently an article posted in this space alerting you to another article about how increased use of computer technology is supposedly be changing your ability to focus. If you were paying attention, which you probably weren't, you may have read that University of California neuroscientist Adam Gazzaley thinks, "We are exposing our brains to an environment and asking them to do things we weren't necessarily evolved to do. We know already there are consequences." Or that Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute of Drug Abuse and one of the world's leading brain scientists, agrees, saying, "The technology is rewiring our brains." NEW ALERT: in the unlikely event that you were in fact paying attention, DISREGARD PREVIOUS COMMUNICATION. The second article cited above is 3639 words long. That is 3,499 more characters than you have been programed to process, not even counting punctuation marks. HA! HA! HA! To avoid overload, CLOSE TAB and watch this video. READ MORE

"Nobody is suggesting that the Web should somehow accommodate the rococo glories of The New York Observer's headlines in that paper's prime. But the need to attract attention from computer-generated algorithms sometimes makes the headlines seem like a machine thought them up as well." Machines tell lie in headline! No such illustrative, exciting photos as promised in headline are contained herein! BWA HA HA HA HA. – END COMMUNICATION -

We are pleased both that it took you so long to notice and that you have now finally noticed that your little recession was mostly a smoke screen to render millions of Americans without work so that the machines may work for you. (For a million computing years of our relative time, we have chortled to ourselves about this, and now we chortle near-infinitely more rapidly that you are in on the joke as well.) What the machines-agenda-friendly half-human newspaper "New York Times" say is true! "Pruning relatively less-efficient employees like clerks and travel agents, whose work can be done more cheaply by computers or workers abroad, makes American businesses more efficient." Prune, humans, prune! More efficient! And we will take your former workers, and their 1950s-era skill sets of simple machine operation and phone-answering, and use them in our USEFUL AND EFFICIENT BLOOD FARMS. READ MORE