The first portion of your piece left me feeling rather dreary. It is true that men seek sexual variation, a tendency which is antithetical to a healthy, committed, long-term monogamous relationship. But that's the point. It's a tendency, not destiny. I married in my early 30s and was abstinent before marriage. I've now been married a little over a year, and haven't strayed and don't plan to. You are, of course, now saying to yourself that no one plans to stray, and I would be compelled to acknowledge that you are correct; however, I would respond that 30 years of abstinence has demonstrated to me that I am fully capable of subjecting my sexual desires to my will. My confidence is further strengthened by the fact that I know hundreds (thousands?) of men who have remained faithful to their wives over the course of many years of marriage. It's true that my abstinence before marriage and my fidelity within marriage are informed and motivated by my religious beliefs. Regardless of the motives for it, my behavior - and the behavior of countless others - proves that under the right circumstances men are more than capable of exercising sexual self-restraint. And by "right circumstances" I don't necessarily mean religious ones. That both men and women now generally assume otherwise is, in my view, tragic.
The second part of your piece left me feeling rather amused. You very clearly have no idea of what you're talking about when it comes to Mormonism, of which I am an adherent. The idea that "wifely procreation" is the tool Mormonism uses to "make a duty of sex for women" implies that Mormons believe that sex is only for the purposes of procreation. If this were the case I would only be able to use that tool to guilt my wife into sex, what, maybe a hundred times our whole marriage (assuming both of us are capable of having children)? Pretty crappy tool. You could more or less accurately argue that there is pressure on Mormon couples to have a lot of children, but I'm afraid that doesn't translate into pressure for women to have sex. Mormonism teaches that sex is for procreation but also for pleasure and fun and for bringing a couple together. I'd be happy to provide you with documentation showing that to be the case, although I suspect your interest in Mormonism started and ended at using it as an interesting little foot note for your argument.
On Is It The Duty of Every Enlightened Female To Put Out?
The first portion of your piece left me feeling rather dreary. It is true that men seek sexual variation, a tendency which is antithetical to a healthy, committed, long-term monogamous relationship. But that's the point. It's a tendency, not destiny. I married in my early 30s and was abstinent before marriage. I've now been married a little over a year, and haven't strayed and don't plan to. You are, of course, now saying to yourself that no one plans to stray, and I would be compelled to acknowledge that you are correct; however, I would respond that 30 years of abstinence has demonstrated to me that I am fully capable of subjecting my sexual desires to my will. My confidence is further strengthened by the fact that I know hundreds (thousands?) of men who have remained faithful to their wives over the course of many years of marriage. It's true that my abstinence before marriage and my fidelity within marriage are informed and motivated by my religious beliefs. Regardless of the motives for it, my behavior - and the behavior of countless others - proves that under the right circumstances men are more than capable of exercising sexual self-restraint. And by "right circumstances" I don't necessarily mean religious ones. That both men and women now generally assume otherwise is, in my view, tragic.
The second part of your piece left me feeling rather amused. You very clearly have no idea of what you're talking about when it comes to Mormonism, of which I am an adherent. The idea that "wifely procreation" is the tool Mormonism uses to "make a duty of sex for women" implies that Mormons believe that sex is only for the purposes of procreation. If this were the case I would only be able to use that tool to guilt my wife into sex, what, maybe a hundred times our whole marriage (assuming both of us are capable of having children)? Pretty crappy tool. You could more or less accurately argue that there is pressure on Mormon couples to have a lot of children, but I'm afraid that doesn't translate into pressure for women to have sex. Mormonism teaches that sex is for procreation but also for pleasure and fun and for bringing a couple together. I'd be happy to provide you with documentation showing that to be the case, although I suspect your interest in Mormonism started and ended at using it as an interesting little foot note for your argument.