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mid 40's, male, Los Angeles, theatrical and furniture design, gay,

On Pleasant-Sounding Name Not Totally Accurate

Will it work with Afrin? Because I have been really
congested lately!

Posted on April 19, 2012 at 10:34 pm 0

On For When You're Not Drinking Straight From The Bottle

Still waiting for that "wide-mouthed" wine bottle.

Posted on January 26, 2012 at 1:55 am 0

On Alcohol Good

No, it just means that a mutant strain of worms will eventually
take over, and consume all of our alcohol (and live forever).

Posted on January 24, 2012 at 11:08 pm 0

On Elements of Trolldom: Katie Roiphe and Pico Iyer

You could also just own an old Apple computer, which quits randomly
while online... in fact, why not also buy a car which some days
just won't start?

(I never realized I was so much on the cutting edge)

Posted on January 4, 2012 at 3:52 pm 1

On Obese People Like Fatty Food

Is this like when drinkers have a harder time not-drinking than non-drinkers?

Posted on September 20, 2011 at 6:35 pm 0

On Scientists Discover Happy Teens

@DoctorDisaster Single Malt, one hopes!

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 3:37 am 0

On The 13 Worst Things I Found on Craigslist While Looking for a NYC Sublet

@hockeymom THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME LAUGH FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOUR DAYS.

Posted on June 1, 2011 at 11:42 pm 1

On The Late Great Planet Earth

I really don't understand why we CAN'T put a positive spin on all of this.

World ends in 2012? Fine, we've had enough anyway. I have.

I say it needs re-branding:

(Get Ready for the "Mayan Shift!")

(Your Sinus Infections Will be Forever Gone!)

(Your Ex will either appear on his/her knees, or simply vanish in a cloud of
$100 bills!)

(Your headaches from $7 wine will disappear!) (

You'll be able to get in shape again,
without once again damaging your knee, because you will be lighter and more sure-footed!
Indians will help you with this! They will just appear!) All yu have to do is give them their land back!

And so on..

"Your car will suddenly work again and skyrocket in value!"

"The 15 degree magnetic shift in the Earth will result in your facial wrinkles smoothing out,
as if you are lying on your back! (check photo)

"Lily Thomlin's "Forty Miles of Bad Road" will finally air on HBO!"

It's all good? Get it?

So.. beat the religious control freaks at their own game.

WORLDWIDE ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN

"Yes, I Will Do My Part When End Times Happen! I will stand ready with a hose and a broom!
I will Clean Up Their Mess, and their greed." And Take Their Cars. Or at least borrow them
and care for them"

I will make asteroid-proof umbrellas.

What are you going to do?

Posted on December 30, 2010 at 8:43 pm 0

On UFOs and Mario Lopez, Holocaust Memorials and Sitcom Players

Back in 1979 LA, I bought a 1962 Mercury (because they were cheap at the time), and
one day, in my first month, I pulled up to a stop light.
I had a slight leak in the left front tire.)

Pulling out from the opposite side
of the street was a woman with long, blond, straight hair...
who shouted to me " "Honey, get some air in your tire!"

I felt as if I were in a place I finally wanted to be.

(I'm afraid it was all downhill after that).

Posted on December 19, 2010 at 12:42 am 0

On When You Assume, It Makes An Assange Out Of You and Me

OOh.... I smell a man-crush!

Ball's in your court, Doctor!

(well, at least one of them..)

Posted on December 19, 2010 at 12:04 am 0