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On Knifecrime Island Under Attack From Plague Of Toe-Nibbling Rodents

"OK EVERYBODY TUCK YOUR PANTS INTO YOUR SOCKS"

http://25.media.tumblr.com/RaAhBBk4Tkaji4930Bpmcj41o1_500.png

Posted on August 28, 2012 at 4:08 pm 0

On ASAP Rocky, "Goldie"

@oudemia I KNOW! Best hat ever.

Posted on May 3, 2012 at 4:22 pm 0

On Today Only: The Awl Is Auditioning New Commenters!

Brilliant.

'Whatever. I don't care. This site started going downhill anyway when ______ left and _______ took over as editor. So have a nice, slow death, Awl. I didn't even TRY that hard to get a star in the first place, and it's soo much harder to get a star on Deadspin anyway, where I also had stars, so HA, joke's on you.'

Posted on April 18, 2012 at 10:49 am 0

On America's Unchecked Gun Culture Killed Trayvon Martin

Yes, yes, yes. Thank you for this. Not nearly enough people are bringing up this specific issue. Race was absolutely a factor, but if Zimmerman wasn't armed, Martin could have survived and made it out alive.

Posted on March 29, 2012 at 3:00 pm 0

On Very Recent Williamsburg History

The same incident - with almost the exact same wording on the sign - happened in my building too (in DC). Except it only involved three boxes of cereal, so the casualties weren't as great. But no one stole the sign.

Posted on March 19, 2012 at 10:52 am 0

On Winona Ryder's Forever Sweater

"He’s more Brideshead Revisited gay than Chelsea gay."

I'm totally gonna steal that and Winona on outta here...

Posted on December 13, 2011 at 11:30 am 0

On Photos of Sara: The Fake Stalker and His Secret Tumblr

@BeccaBecca Or George Tropicana: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEw7dN28nrU&feature=related

Posted on October 13, 2011 at 1:12 pm 0

On Photos of Sara: The Fake Stalker and His Secret Tumblr

I like the 'no it's cool, i'm not creepy because i have a girlfriend' comment randomly dropped in the interview:

"No, no. I’m not a sociopath. My girlfriend, Kate, is a sociopath. She is teaching me the sociopath stare."

My girlfriend, Kate, you guys? Yeah. I have a girlfriend.

Also - is Kate real, or is this part of his "character's" history?

Posted on October 12, 2011 at 5:05 pm 1

On If 'The Simpsons' Ends Will You Care?

@melis I loved the Homerpalooza episode.

"Did somebody order the London Symphony Orchestra? Hello, somebody ordered the London Symphony Orchestra.... possibly while high.... Cypress Hill, I'm looking in your direction..."

Posted on October 4, 2011 at 12:55 pm 0

On Dressing Up My Boyfriend As Marc Anthony In His Terrible Kohl's Clothes

@Shantasybaby "It's just a store with mass produced clothes that aren't really that terrible"

Well, NOW I'm sold

Posted on September 14, 2011 at 1:37 pm 1