@Subway Suicide@twitter Because they have seen far too many sitcoms and movies where this nonsense is rewarded with a playful "Oh, honey"/swat combination, followed by canoodling. Remind them that the kitchen is where the knives are and they'll stay the hell out.
@Magic Jewball And yet, as KarenUhOh has pointed out, Kenny Fucking G. made the list... Does not seem legit.
@City_Dater I would have been satisfied with Triscuit.
This is just lovely.
@hockeymom "They grow nude supermodels" has made me laugh to the point of tears, and I think I'm going to close all tabs for the day because nothing will top that for a while.
@412748100@twitter I'm just going to go ahead and assume you authored half of those. Happy?
@96498932@twitter Which one of those statements are you proud to have associated with your anonymous self? (That's a completely rhetorical question, I don't care.)
@FredBread Zappa is like Oscar Wilde and the bible - a quote for any and every occasion.
I have a question for the writer of the first letter: do you read a lot of magazines and watch a lot of television? Because that shit is POISON. Not only are you being bombarded with advertisements, but you're constantly being presented with digitally manipulated images of surgically enhanced people. It sets up a ridiculous and damaging standard that is impossible to live up to, all in the name of getting you to go to the mall more often.
I love this, representing as it does all that I find amusing/off-putting about spiritual retreats. (It's not the band, it's the fans...)