On Granola Sluts It Up
Dear Sirs: Thank you for bringing this to my attention. The author has created an artisinal poof postry. Crafted of time honored cliches and puns tacked together with a bewildering sense of earnestness and self importance. It has hints of twee and quirkyness with just a trucker-hat full of arch hipsterism circa late 1990's.
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On An Analysis of the Thomas Kinkade Calendar for May and June
With his Carmel Oceean Avenue piece Kinkade pushes further than Walt Disney or Norman Rockwell to depict Baudrillard's hyperreality. The piece is a study in contradictions. The gauzy backlit street scene that melts easily into the canvas is fraught with easily discernible flaws. The sidewalks are too narrow. The cars are of contrasting vintage. The brickwork patterns impossible for a load bearing wall marking them as merely a facade.
All these contradictions undermine the text deconstructing itself until we realize that we are not viewing Ocean Avenue in Carmel. We are in fact looking at a portrait of the Duke of Windsor's pugs sitting on a pea stained settee.
Well done Kindade. Well done indeed.
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On The Machines Are Our Friends
The machines are no match for our Giant Squid overlords. Whom I humbly bow before in contrite acquiescence.
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On Understanding Metropolitan Diary: Queens in Queens Edition
@gregorg Honestly, in a city as big as New York some people stand out. If I told you about a certain lady who has an abcess on her forehead and screams, "I have cancer" often in the vicinity of Wall Street odds are someone will know who I'm talking about.
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On Cheese Appreciated
Right now it's Midnight Moon. Aged goats milk cheese. 5 year aged gouda is a close second with crunchy crystals.
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On Let's Not Build Anything Ever Again, Never Forget
Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, Bona fide, Electrified, Six-car Monorail!
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On Rookie Rookie Rookie
Whoa, major interface paradigm shift. My jaw kinda dropped at the simplicity. Somebody has to have used this layout before, I'll just assume I'm living in a cave.
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On Conching: The Latest Craze Sweeping Australian Dolphins
@boyofdestiny You will be first against the seawall when they are overthrown by our new overlords, the Giant Squid who I will welcome.
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On How Much Should A Writer Get Paid? A Conversation
$1.50 a word plus expenses.