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Simon Dumenco

Simon Dumenco

Most Recently: Has Rick Perry Set U.S.-Solynda Relations Back 50 Years?

Simon Dumenco is The Awl's Senior Wall Street Correspondent and Justin Bieber Bureau Chief.

Has Rick Perry Set U.S.-Solynda Relations Back 50 Years?

After Texas governor and U.S. presidential candidate Rick Perry criticized the Obama administration for sending $500 million of aid to the country Solynda, disturbing new details about his attitudes toward ethnic Solyndans have emerged. READ MORE

The 'Times' Thinks It Might Have (Maybe) Witnessed Police Brutality (Secondhand)

The New York Times thinks it maybe saw something... so it's saying something. In a Sunday afternoon post titled "Video Appears to Show Wall Street Protesters Being Pepper-Sprayed," the paper's City Room blog embedded a video—originally posted by YouTube user USLAWdotcom—and offered a delicate take on the proceedings. READ MORE

Cindy Adams, I Love You

Remember newspapers? Remember Cindy Adams? She writes a sassy gossip column for a newspaper, the New York Post, that is available online, but because Cindy doesn't do Gossip Girl recaps, she doesn't get a lot of link love on the Internet. Which is too bad, because 80-year-old Cindy, it turns out, is still awesome. READ MORE

Tao of Dow: New Accessory Makes iPad a Gazillion Times More Awesome

The Awl's Morning Market Report: READ MORE

Tao of Dow: When TERRIFYING Giant-Fanged Leeches Attack

The Awl's Lunch-time Market Report: READ MORE

Tao of Dow: When Standing Cats Attack

The Awl's Morning Market Report:

• The Dow Jones Industrial Average inched up this morning as investors expressed relief that Standing Cat is not a crazy Asian chick in a very convincing cat suit, but an actual cat named Rocky that French journalist Aude Baron reveals, via Boing Boing, "is 2 years old and his owners are French (Daisy and Yann). Rocky used to stand up because he couldn't see the birds through the windows, and wanted to, so he stood up.... He doesn't stand up too often any more because Daisy and Yann moved their stuff, so now Rocky can see everything without having to go bipedal."

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Tao of Dow: Just Be Yourself and Try Your Best, Man-Sized Lizard With Two Penises

The Awl's Morning Market Report:

• The Dow Jones Industrial Average is up this morning as investors greeted news that Lin Yu Chun, Taiwan's answer to Whitney Houston, also, according to the Associated Press, does Celine Dion and Mariah Carey songs. "I now have more confidence in pursuing a singing career," the 14-year-old-looking 24-year-old told the AP. "You don't have to be a good-looking man or woman to succeed. Just be yourself and try your best." Curiously, Lin had no comment about the man-sized lizard with two penises.

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Tao of Dow: Nike Exploits Earl Woods, Toonces, Orville Redenbacher

The Awl's Morning Market Report: READ MORE

Tao of Dow: Awesome Taiwanese Boy Out-Whitneys Whitney; Man-Sized Lizard Has Two Penises

The Awl's Morning Market Report: READ MORE

Tao of Dow for April 6: Standing Cat Is Watching You

The Awl's Morning Market Report: READ MORE