Jim Behrle
Most Recently: What Writing Programs Ought To Teach You When They Teach You About Writing
What Writing Programs Ought To Teach You When They Teach You About Writing
American Student Loan Debt Delinquencies has overtaken American Credit Card Debt for the first time on the spectrum of Debts. Students pay more to go to college and graduate school and get less from their buck than ever before. And now you can’t even pay it back! You used to get a job, now you get a ham sandwich, maybe. It's not necessarily the fault of colleges and universities. They have to make big bucks to keep all that marble buffed and ivy trimmed. I'd much rather blame the heads of departments. The myth was once that if you got a Liberal Arts education in some worthless degree field you'd still be able to get a job in some worthwhile career field later. It would just be like a joke you told at staff Christmas parties: "Doug, tell us again how you majored in Beatnik Studies at the University of Lipstick on Allen Ginsberg's Ass!" READ MORE
4 Fill-In-The-Blank Poems For You To Steal This Valentine's Day
It's not too late! Valentine's Day can be salvaged, you procrastinators! Duane Reade may be wiped out of everything except Strawberry-flavored Three Musketeer bars (Ew. And then also Yum. And then back to Ew.) I may think that love is an illusion. And that Valentine's Day is not actually about love, it's about out-loving everybody else with the perfection of your relationship's love. When your relationship probably needs some work, like everybody else's. But that's no reason for you to get jacked up by your sweetie for screwing up Valentine's Day (possibly again?). I'm your poetry pal. And poetry is only useful culturally when you want to get laid or when you have to bury your grandmother. And at the very last minute, when all other options have faded from view. Like a Carnival cruise line boat spinning out of control in the Gulf of Mexico. Don't let your Valentine's Day stink of unflushable toilets! READ MORE
An Epic Poem Pick For The Super Bowl
And so concludes this season of poetic football picks. READ MORE
Smart, Sportsy Things For You To Say During Super Bowl XLVII
Sports nerds shouldn't be the only ones who get to say smart-sounding sports stuff during this weekend's big game. So here once again to provide you with some Super Bowl small talk is Jim Behrle, Awl football picks haiku-ist. Just for you, he's assembled these highly proprietary pieces of wisdom gained from a life lived in his mom's basement, playing Madden all day. Enjoy! READ MORE
NFL Championship Villanelle Picks
January 20, San Francisco -4 at Atlanta
NO ONE THINKS THE FALCONS ARE GOOD ENOUGH: A VILLANELLE
No one thinks the Falcons are good enough,
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