I'm just like all of you, only more so.
(This is otherwise a fantastic piece.)
One of the few language precision things that I feel strongly about: historical usage is in error, there is no such thing as "a black" (or "a white"). The term is "a black person." Especially in narratives like this, the whole point is to push back against skin color as the total measure of a person.
It is the most general possible signifier of change and history ... That's actually not accurate. It is very specific. It is specifically a random and, as you say, not very good flooring company. That this should stand while so many, many, many other things turn into Whole Foodses is weird, and arbitrary, and absurd, and wonderful. So I would recommend you unfollow any Instagrammers you find tedious, and otherwise have a fine little em ee unsh of a day.
(The being said, re-erecting it is pretty dweeby.)
He should Crossfit, because then he'd Crossfit, Crossfittily. It'll be Crossifttastic. Also, paleo.
Well said! I laid out pretty much the same dilevian vision in my book on how to succeed as an internet entrepreneur, Hugging It.
Except everything you praise Weezer for from music to lyrics to schlubhood was just a slightly more accessible riff on Pavement, not that I'm not stealing that line of argument from a Gerard Cosloy rant circa 1998.
Also, Sadie Doyle would like to have 9000 words with you.
Do you have some weird radar for medical students, or were there just a ridiculous number of them in attendance?
Imagine the inspiration were archaeologists to unearth a tarnished newsletter.
44 of 44 sentences were about The Real World. Aim for a gazelle or large carnivore.