I was pulled over for speeding by the League of Nations.
@Dave Bry "Engagement ring on Bronx Zoo lion fang"
It's all in the mom genes?
By Azi @twitter on "You Get On The Internet And Pretty Soon You’re Drunk": The Orthodox At Citi Field
I was at the The Internet Is Not A Problem counter protest. I recognize your picture, Sean, from seeing you there. There were likely 200+ attendees at its peek but of course compared to the 60,000 inside the difference is negligible.
They allowed us to stand right across from an entrance to the stadium parking lot so many buses and cars had to pass by. Most of them were smiling or laughing or just stared blankly. Its my hope that at least a few of them saw us and our signs and were finally forced to think about the problem we were promoting.
Golly. For someone who hates Brooklyn so much, you certainly spend a LOT OF TIME THERE.
Might I suggest that Roosevelt Island would be a good place for the Dadcave Communes? Right on the F train!
(The condescending hostility of this series is making me a lil' sad. Not gonna lie. And I mean? I'm a childless Manhattanite who has no horse in this race. Choire! Maybe you should just avoid Brooklyn if it makes you hate straight people with children so much that it turns you into sort of an unlikable jerk?)
I once subscribed to a weekly literary magazine that would tactfully condemn an art form by saying, in the long-suffering yet indulgent tone with which a wife -- yes, we both know females don't actually exist for this magazine, but hear me out -- might scold her husband for once again forgetting to put the cat out, "It sounds like another art form that we print several examples of each week."
@Jeremy Mesiano-Crookston: YOU ARE A TERRIBLE AMERICAN.
"You're dead to me. No, I mean it. That's not an...an idiomatic expression I'm trying to use here. This conversation? In my mind, I'm having it with a semi-animated corpse and it's absolutely fucking terrifying. I can't see you without decrepit, decaying bits of putrefying skin obscuring your features that were once so well known to me. I'm serious here. You're dead to me; whenever I try to send you an email it bounces back with an auto-reply saying 'Oh my God, this is Gmail, I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you this - this is so awful, I can't believe this - but you're friend, he's dead, he's totally and massively dead, please let me know if there's anything I can do,' but there isn't anything anyone can do. I even had a private funeral for you last night. Remember when I broke into your room last night and dragged you out to a funeral home and put you in a grave and covered you with dirt and you kept struggling which I thought was really unusual for a dead body to do? Anyhow, that's what I mean when I say you're dead to me, so."
@BadUncle Didn't she do a PSA in the 70s titled, "Save your septum, use your rectum?"