Alex Balk

Alex Balk


The "quiet" one.

The Great Debeardening

"The more beards there are, the less attractive they become—giving clean-shaven men a competitive advantage, say scientists in Sydney, Australia. When 'peak beard' frequency is reached, the pendulum swings back toward lesser-bristled chins—a trend we may be witnessing now, the scientists say."

Gimmick Returns

Oh thank God: "For those who didn't get to sample the meaty menu item, KFC is offering one more chance: Starting April 21, the Double Down will return to the fast-food chain." In case you have forgotten, the definitive review of that, uh, foodstuff, appeared here four years ago.

Parquet Courts, "Sunbathing Animal"

Because of the Internet—because of cats, which is more and more frequently the exact same thing—the clip will work even if you don't know what The Replacements' "Bastards of Young" video looked like. (But you probably should.) I am still "eh, either way" on Parquet Courts but my foot did find itself tapping a bit to this one.

Guess What's On Those Shiny Screens?

You know what else is covered in doody? Yes, everything. But especially whatever device you happen to be reading this on right now. Here are some tips for cleaning it, but be honest, ten seconds from now you are going to eat your lunch over it and then the cycle will start anew. Why bother? My theory is if you leave the dirt there eventually you will develop some kind of symbiotic affinity with it. Yes, that is how I justify grime and indolence. What, you think you're better than me? I've seen you blow your nose in your hands and then continue to type after a cursory wipe on your jeans. Let's not kid ourselves here.

How Dirty Is Your Kitchen?

Would your apartment pass the city's restaurant inspection test? Of course not. You live in filth and even if you make an effort at tidying up every now and again the fact remains that here in New York City a thin layer of doody covers all, even the actual doody you do your best to step over as you move around town. Your surfaces play host to an orgy of bacteria, where the grossest of germs satiate their sick desires in a frenzy of deviant pathogenic passion. At night when you sleep the rats and roaches come out and dance a dervish of delight on your countertops as the vermin version of 'In the Hall of the Mountain King' plays in the background. The only saving grace is that you never prepare any food for yourself at home, so you can pretend that whatever has been delivered is coming from a kitchen where they actually make do an effort to keep things clean (although deep down you are pretty sure that they do not). Anyway, this guy's didn't either, so don't feel so bad about how disgusting you are. You're pretty disgusting though.

White Babies White Racist Babies: Study

"The study revealed when it came to picking a playmate, the babies seemed more tolerant of unfairness when the white recipient benefited from it. They picked the fair experimenter less often when the unfair experimenter gave more toys to the white recipient rather than the Asian one. The researchers say this implies that babies can take into account both race and social history when deciding which person would make a better playmate."

Dave Pirner Is 50

Everyone will tell you Soul Asylum was much better before they got big, but that is what everyone says about everything they love that they knew prior to its becoming popular, so a lot of times it is just wrong. I mean, no one is defending "Runaway Train"—no one could—but the back half of their career had as much underappreciated stuff as the beginning. Anyway, happy birthday, Dave Pirner. Those of us who dream of disappearing completely will always love you for this song.

Dark Times For Dark Lord

"With old media getting savvier and BuzzFeed on the rise, Denton has seen his digital media empire threatened once again by powerful adversaries." READ MORE

Small Awl Old

It's a tiny copper awl from a long time ago! Maybe we should make it our new logo.

The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart, "Eurydice"

I was a sucker for the last one and while this doesn't have the same immediate pull there is still enough here of everything that reminds me of the summer of 1987 that I don't feel bad about it sharing it. Enjoy. [Via]