On Ferris Bueller Revisited
Not a huge Cracked fan, but #4 here absolutely blew my mind, and is how I prefer to think of the movie now:
http://www.cracked.com/article/18367_6-insane-fan-theories-that-actually-make-great-movies-better/
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On Sixteen Songs About Seabirds
Really? No "Lesbian Seagull??"
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On How to Quit Your Job
I think you flaunt it all humblebraggy-like on Twitter and then take to Business Insider to do all kinds of gloating interviews. I don't have a name for it, but some call it "Pulling a Cho"
(I kid! I kid! Honestly! Miss u DC!)
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On Jim Leyland Wants To Know Your Intentions
"Jason Bay walks to the plate, as the soothing melancholy of 'Brian Wilson' plays in the background...wow, remember Barenaked Ladies?"
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On The Death Of Instant Messenger
The best part about AIM in it's infancy was the wealth of screennames one would accumulate before settling on one. I know there were upwards of 8 for me, but i particularly remember one that was somehow a nod to my Limp Bizkit fandom, as well as Watrboy120, in homage to the Adam Sandler feat of cinematic brilliance. I finally settled on Rozy2004, the standard nickname(in this case an awkwardly embarassing spelling of it)/graduation year combo. Which made it awfully difficult to e-hit on seniors as a sophomore, and remarkably easy to e-hit on sophomores as a senior. High School is decidedly not awesome.
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On The Best Fried Chicken In The World, Galaxy, Universe
@tigolbitties my very first day on the job in Charleston, for a major national company, I had to be at an event at the College of Charleston. This coincided with the inaguration of President Obama. As we're sitting and watching this all go down, my new boss (who I've known for 20 minutes) tells me that she "just wishes he would change his name, you know?" and later utters "I guess I wouldn't mind so much if he were white"
Charlestonians know no a)shame and b)black people that they like.
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On The Best Fried Chicken In The World, Galaxy, Universe
I lived in Charleston for 8 months, but sadly those 8 months consisted of a healthy bout of post-college mild depression along with a diet of, mostly, egg/imitation crab/cream cheese scrambles, not to mention bi-weekendly trips to see a lovely young lady just across the border in Georgia. I also got my ipod stolen out of my car once and threatened because I accidentally cut someone off at a stop light. James Island, Stand Up!
But I'll be damned if I didnt get to Fiery Ron's Home Team Barbecue (in West Ashley) (literally) weekly. Being that this makes me a (self-proclaimed) expert, allow me this opportunity to corroborate and castigate:
-Home Team is nothing short of magical, partially for it's innovation (the hyper-creative BBQ tacos were my joint. Come to think of it, I don't think I ever deviated.) but mostly the fact that it is basically sweet, smoky crack.
-Castigation: I can't believe you wrote nothing of their White Barbecue Sauce. I can only assume that it is made of Cesar Dressing packets mixed with fairy dust filtered through rabbit fur, but they never told me what it was, even though I asked every time. Run, don't walk, back to Home Team during your next visit, and order up a few shots.
I also drove my friend to Ben Bridwell's wedding in downtown Charleston, March 2009.
(I used to think if I wrote a memoir it would be about my strange, haphazard, brief time fretting over my future as a midwestern post-grad in the American South. I'm pretty sure I just did that.)
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On A Free-Flowing Narrative That Occasionally Touches On Mature Subjects
1. Wait, so she met Walt Frazier on a Knicks message board?
2. I guess I don't see how this all ties back in to skiing.
3. No Babysitters Club references? Amare-as-Mary Anne Spiers?
Aside from that, all in all, 30 for Wordy is gonna be alright.
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On Passover At Guy Fieri’s House
The first thing I thought when I read this was "Man, i gotta send this to my Jewish friends!" ...only to realize here in flyover country I have none.
So I guess I'll have to make do by sending it to myself. It works for the Jewish Singles of Des Moines
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On Bruce Springsteen Albums, In Order
YES, YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES.
Finally, someone put's Darkness number one. Great work.