In 25 words or less? You can write to me as anarcissie at gmail.com if nothing else will assuage your curious curiosity....
@triggermarie -- It's nice if you can change the subject. FUAX seemed not to be able to. A lot of people seem to have that problem. I don't understand it -- I wouldn't think of treating my grown children disrespectfully. But I'm a crank.
I think the stuff about how you may never see the person alive again is invalid. That is true of everyone and everything: 'Look thy last on all things lovely' and unlovely as well. That is how we live.
As for the rest, I believe the correct performance of familial obligations requires mutual respect. In this instance, religion apparently licenses the parent to disrespect the child, especially the separate bedrooms bit. The only justification for attending the event as described I can see is as an act of war: drag me into your camp and I'll subvert your followers. It might be worthwhile attending on that basis, although I think FUAX and company will soon be disinvited.
@Olivia2.0 -- Yes, you are probably the ONLY. I am pretty weird, too; I used to get along pretty well with most of my in-laws, even on holidays. I couldn't stand the television, though, so it didn't work out in the long run.
@Paddy -- Some do, some don't. The smarter ones get bored with bad boys, because bad boys are pretty limited by their badness.
In the last several years, my visits to the DMV have been rapid and efficient, probably because I have chosen offices in the remote wilds of Staten Island and Queens. Probably, the further you get from civilization the faster it goes. Hence, going to a DMV office in the Bronx should take about two minutes. Avoid popular, kicky venues like Herald Square or Worth Street. Bring a book with small pages or short paragraphs.
@zinger -- Buy it, nothing. You should write it! Get to work!
'Level Zero, this is Level 6 -- you've got to do something -- Level 5 and Level 7 are fighting it out, and I'm caught in the crossfire!'
'What do you expect me to do? It's novelists all the way down!'
There you go. A donnée, three characters, and a title. You're all set!
Bob Dylan was far from the mainstream at the time he appeared. It is not surprising that the mainstream, although temporarily diverted, has now returned to cuteness and simple-mindedness, although Dylanoid performers have managed to maintain a sort of edge niche.
I see a novel here -- a novel about a guy who writes a blog about writing a novel about a guy who writes a blog about writing a novel about a guy.... For some pomo fizz you could have one of the players halfway down call up someone on the top level and discuss how things were going. 'How's the weather up there?' etc. Otherwise it's ready to go. The only thing possibly missing from the upbeat ending is a ritual invocation of the Leaving New York theme.
@Ester Bloom@facebook -- That's not really what I'm getting, but my perceptions may be warped by reading too many advice columns. So I'll just note that all relationships are problematic in some way.
As far as the Times magazine goes, you've definitely got my support, and if they ask me I'm going to tell them.