Fuck you very much.

On Two Cartoon Interpretations Of Fox News' "The War On Men" Article

I, too, would be angry if I were trapped inside of a nutshell. So cramped and fibrous.

Posted on November 26, 2012 at 6:05 pm 0

On Psychological Risks Associated With Pencil Sharpening, From David Rees' 'How To Sharpen Pencils'

Why is David Rees wasting his time with this bullshit when he could be making the world a more wonderful place with Relationshapes?


Posted on April 10, 2012 at 5:23 pm 0

On A Minnesota Nice Guide To The Twin Cities

@heb ... Yeah. I just looked @ the Wellman's website; it's definitely Drink v2.0. The pubification of First Ave is when you take a fine dining establishment like NBA City and turn it into something like Hubert's. Travesty.

Posted on February 28, 2012 at 5:31 pm 0

On A Minnesota Nice Guide To The Twin Cities

@Abe Sauer Thanks for sneaking in the snaps for Longfellow!

Sex World, Nicollet Mall, and the 35W Bridge--I think that Ms. Heaney needs to get out more.

Posted on February 28, 2012 at 4:26 pm 0

On A Minnesota Nice Guide To The Twin Cities

@heb The Drink in DT is turning into "Wellman's Pub." The pubification of First Ave continues. Thought, it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for outdoor baseball @ Target Field.

Posted on February 28, 2012 at 4:21 pm 0

On Why 'The Little Mermaid' Is The Greatest Movie of Our Time

@cherrispryte I don't know, I'm torn!

I did a dance (with hula-hoops and home-made, tie-dyed outfits, natch) to "Under the Sea" for the Third Grade Talent Show.

But, I used "Part of Your World" to try out for Varsity Choir.

But! "Kiss the Girl" is still on my iPod...in several different versions.

I know, I know. You're on the edge of your seat waiting for my decision. Why does everything have to revolve around me? Whhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyy?

Posted on May 11, 2011 at 5:27 pm 2

On We Get Results! State Farm Renounces Black Magic, Evil Doings

Headline. "State Farm's Bold New Venture: Black Magic Endangered Species Taxidermists"

Posted on March 24, 2011 at 10:03 pm 0

On Why Minnesota Mothers Are Doing Pretty Good

Stuff My Minnesota Mother outlawed:
- Eating before thanking the Lord. (Both "God is Great" and "Come Lord Jesus" are acceptable.)
- The phrases "pissed off" and "shut up."
- Hats at the kitchen table.
- Wearing tube-tops with overalls. ("You look naked! NAKED!")
- Playing with toys until Thank You notes for such items were written.
- Shorts unless it was at least 45º outside.
- Leaving any item out in the rain.
- Calling people after 8:00 PM.
- Wasting food.
- Addressing adults by their first names (unless prefaced by aunt or uncle).
- Taking longer than "twenty minutes" to get anywhere or do anything.
- Black lipstick and incense.
- "In Living Color"
- Crossing freeways on your bike.
- Fratricide.

Basically oppressed, really. I feel lucky to have survived.

Posted on January 27, 2011 at 2:59 pm 0

On Cee-Lo, "F**k You"

Love this song...but all I can think about is his spoiled brat of a daughter that was on My Super Sweet 16. She was hideous.

Posted on August 23, 2010 at 7:14 pm 0

On Why We Cry


Posted on August 23, 2010 at 1:38 pm 0