It would seem the part with the screechy, angry cat kind of breaks from the premise, no?
Last time I went to a keg party was last summer in Hyde Park, a few houses down from Bill Ayers' house. We were out front about to get let in when we saw him pull up to his driveway in a smart car. A few minutes later we were out back, filling up our solo cups, and the porch collapsed. It was not on the second floor or anything, and everyone was fine except for one guy who got a slight concussion. Bill Ayers probably had nothing to do with it but I think it'd be irresponsible of me not to report this incident.
Man, that is some fake-ass snow. Especially compared to the real-ass snow falling outside my window right now!