All I really want to do is play F/M/K with you.

On Meet The Awl

@brent_cox Don't listen to him. He's been here all along, he just uses a fake number.

Posted on March 15, 2014 at 12:08 am 0

On Writing In Public

i don't care what journalists think about if it's spinach or not. i say it's spinach and i say the hell with it.

Posted on March 14, 2014 at 4:15 pm 6

On People Who Are Always Going On About How They Need Coffee Aren't Just Annoying, They're Sick

So what? It just means you have to choose between coffee and having children (or coffee and not having a heart attack, or coffee and not haemorrhaging; whatever). Focus, people.

Posted on January 30, 2014 at 4:02 am 0

On An Oral History Of Gawker, By Reddit

@MisterHippity The snark that keeps jumping itself.

Posted on January 30, 2014 at 3:41 am 0

On The Golden Era Of Spam Comments Has Ended

Okay guys, who can do the funniest spam commenter comment?

Posted on December 13, 2013 at 1:18 pm 0

On Why Do You Animals Flush The Toilet With Your Feet?

When I learned that foot-flushing was a thing, or more precisely that Southern women flush their leavings away with the toes of their shod feet, I asked my sister if it could possibly be true, not believing it. Of course we do, she said: "Just think of all the feet that have been on that handle!"

Posted on October 7, 2013 at 3:18 pm 0

On Column Filed

The only way you could improve that is if there were a Westgate Mall closer than Rochester.

Posted on September 24, 2013 at 10:23 am 0

On Are The Startup Fellas Hellbent On Destroying Education Even Literate?

Had me at "I dove deeper".

Posted on September 13, 2013 at 1:05 pm 0

On Tompall Glaser, 1933-2013

"'And you, Atrocious Tosches,' he'd bellow, mispronouncing my name to fit the tiresome rhyme he never got tired of turning, waving the little ruler toward me, 'you'd better finish that book and put my great ass in it.'"
And so he did.

Posted on August 14, 2013 at 3:10 pm 0

On Tompall Glaser, 1933-2013

And now he's spam-commented.

Posted on August 14, 2013 at 2:48 pm 0