On How Jeb Bush Loses On Super Tuesday, 2016

Have another cigarette and tell me more about Bill Clinton's death. If you've been in the same room with him lately you'll know that he's glowing with health.

Wasn't l'Awl supposed to have a makeover today?

Posted on April 21, 2014 at 11:53 am 2

On So Much For Liberalism's Last Chance

Meanwhile two posts down we have a post about Mr. Garceti's city and its murder problem. This city is winter-worn and grumpy. Rainbows and unicorns and blow jobs are all facing high disapproval ratings. A thorough reading of the Quinnipiac polls (something the erudite Ms. Dowd is unlikely to do) would put light on this gloom and doom.

Posted on March 19, 2014 at 10:18 am 0

On The Know: How Do You Show People You're In It?

I sort of narrowed down my feed to city governance, so my (limited) followers and the people I follow tend to know the topic at hand. Also? Google.

Posted on March 13, 2014 at 1:09 pm 0

On City Old

That's why I'm moving to ... oh, yeah. Everyplace sucks.

Posted on March 11, 2014 at 12:48 pm 0

On Meet The Awl


What ever happened to the marijuana site? Wasn't there going to be a marijuana site? Did I dream that? I have a pitch for it in my drafts folder: Places to Walk Around While Stoned in New York.

Posted on March 4, 2014 at 11:22 am 0

On Meet The Awl

Who will reject my unwritten pitches?

Posted on March 4, 2014 at 10:10 am 3

On Your Secret Latte Identity

No, it's a shrug of the shoulders that folks will go to a chain for a consistently mediocre experience where one waits in a queue for something that should be so very simple. Luckily there are other locations where coffee can be had. When I walk into my local coffeeshop/bakery, they start making my beverage when I walk through the door and greet me by name. (Luckily I'm very predictable.)

Seriously, why do people shop at multinational chains?

Posted on January 23, 2014 at 12:30 pm 0

On Bagels, In Order

My bagel secret is to get them straight out of the oven (around 6 - 6:30 at my local shop). An everything (or sometimes salt) bagel straight out of the oven with (tofu) cream cheese with coffee: Heaven.

It's an old guy thing. You'll get here. I'll welcome you.

Posted on October 25, 2013 at 1:23 pm 0

On A Life-Changing Invention: The In-Window Cat Litter Box

I was so proud of Sybil (my cat) when she learned to use the toilet. Training took about two months but it was totally worth it.

One Sunday morning she woke me up crying and crying. She'd run to the bathroom and then back to me a few times. Eventually (as I'm not one to get out of bed at the command of a cat) I followed her and just outside the bathroom door she laid a dookie on the floor. She had had it.

Now I still use one of the training trays and keep the litter in the toilet bowl. It makes for easy cleanup and can be moved to the bathtub when guests are over.

As for this idea? Because we're horrible, we'll never clean the box since we can't smell it. Weighted by fetid piss and shit, the box will somehow fall to the sidewalk and hit ... you're in Brooklyn? It will hit a stroller with precious twins Chip and Chandler. Their litigious mother will own everything that is now yours. Including The Awl which will become a mommy blog. The end.

Posted on October 23, 2013 at 10:57 am 4

On A Life-Changing Invention: The In-Window Cat Litter Box

@jolie Hissssss

Posted on October 23, 2013 at 10:49 am 4