I make comic books and listen to pop music and get sad a lot. I would add "I kiss boys" but the fact that I often don't is what I'm getting sad about.

On People Who Danced Onstage at Madison Square Garden on Saturday While Prince and Sheila E Played 'A Love Bizarre'

Also, I just want to say that Sherri Shepherd was the only one up there dancing the way you SHOULD dance when you're on-stage at a Prince show, i.e. WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT. John Leguizamo was probably #2. No pun intended, Leguizamo haters! Everybody else was really half-assing it. PRINCE AND SHEILA E ARE DOING "A LOVE BIZARRE," PEOPLE. ACT LIKE YOU KNOW.

Posted on December 20, 2010 at 12:12 pm 0

On Yesterday's Run: Like Fleet Week at High Speed but Sweatier

If The Awl was ever to add a pageview-optimizing slideshow section, I would sincerely hope it would be for things like this.

Posted on September 27, 2010 at 4:21 pm 0

On We Will Soon Be Overrun By Foul-Mouthed Toddlers

The obvious solution to this problem is a bright, well-illustrated children's book featuring all 70 of these taboo words. This could be an important resource for adults as well. Freelance writers & artists, start pitchin'.

Posted on September 23, 2010 at 12:41 pm 0

On Who is the Greatest Diva of the Last 25 Years? We Offer Scientific Proof!

Yeah, I strongly second the nomination for Man Troubles as a category. Something to consider for the 2011 rankings.

Posted on September 9, 2010 at 10:40 am 0

On Who is the Greatest Diva of the Last 25 Years? We Offer Scientific Proof!

Look, I'm sorry to blow this off, because a massive amount of effort went into this and it is a topic DEEPLY IMPORTANT TO OUR SURVIVAL AS A NATION, but I am not going to stand, or sit down, or whatever, for this shoddy treatment of Beyoncé, whose name, I feel honor-bound to point out, contains an accent aigu. Clearly you did not spend B-Day (September 4th, DUH), watching THE BEYONCÉ EXPERIENCE on DVD like I did, or you would understand that she really is a deeeee-VUUUHHH and that you are giving her a deeply unfair rap. I am just saying. I am just saying, is all.

I know the numbers don't lie or whatever but a real diva understands that if the numbers put you anywhere other than number 1, THE NUMBERS LIE.

Posted on September 8, 2010 at 5:46 pm 0

On That's Who John Boehner Reminds Me Of

At least he works out so he doesn't get chubby.

Posted on August 25, 2010 at 11:18 am 0

On Two Men Named David Barton: How To Tell Them Apart

It's a shame which one is in politics and which one is in, uh, gyms, because the one who's in gyms would be much more entertaining as a politician. And the politician looks like he could stand to work on his shoulders.

Posted on August 19, 2010 at 4:15 pm 0

On How I Fought Bedbugs And Won

So can I ask a question that never seems to get answered in these stories? What did this all actually COST you? The endless bags, the laundry, the exterminator? It seems like there's no way to get away from these things without dropping something like $800, which is potentially ruinous to most of us young broke New Yorkers.

Posted on August 19, 2010 at 1:04 pm 0

On Five Years in New York: To the Class of 2010 from the Class of 2005

This, Liz, is magnificent.

The commas could also be removed there and it would still remain true. MORE LIZ COLVILLE PLEASE

Posted on July 16, 2010 at 5:24 pm 0

On Listicle Without Commentary: 21 Songs That Prove 2010 Has Been A Startlingly Good Year For New Music So Far

The man's not entirely wrong. Please do page me when Sleigh Bells release their equivalent of "Sex Room," though.

Posted on June 29, 2010 at 10:21 pm 0