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By Clarence Rosario on Women Find a Way to Actually Set the Internet on Fire

Is not using Twitter the new "I don't own a TV?"

Because I watch the fuck out of TV.

Posted on November 4, 2010 at 4:17 pm 6

By brianvan on Women Find a Way to Actually Set the Internet on Fire

Abortion is only wrong if you travel 2,000 miles to see an abortion doctor you had a gay crush on in high school.

Posted on November 4, 2010 at 4:08 pm 8

By HiredGoons on 'Waiting for Superman' Not Just Full of Lies, It Also Has a Fake Scene

Up until now I wasn't aware something could be both acidic and base.

Posted on November 3, 2010 at 12:36 pm 7

By C_Webb on Names of the Dead

I'm not richer yet. Is that happening later today?

Posted on November 3, 2010 at 10:01 am 4

By saythatscool on Facebook Blamed For Teen Angst

Balk:
I know you\'re trying to find some common ground betwixt X\'ers and Millenials, but X\'ers never emitted wet, Code Red/Dorito farts or got winded whilst climbing into a Honda Element for a midnight Chalupa run. We had heroin and we stayed skinny. My message here is simple:

More opiates for the massive.

That is all.
STC

Posted on November 2, 2010 at 10:41 am 1

By MaryHaines on Was The Obama "Daily Show" Thing Ruined By The Audience?

I haven't seen the Obama interview, but I am always annoyed by "The Daily Show"'s audience (although I guess they're better than a laugh track). The writers can come up with a brilliant insight and express it in a deadly quip and get nary a chuckle, and then the fratty jokes and the mentions of pot get interrupted with applause. (I also hate how Stewart scolds the audience for laughing at jokes he didn't write, but that's a different thing I guess.) But "Colbert" is the show that really shouldn't have a studio audience -- they've never been sure whether they're in on the joke or not.

Posted on October 28, 2010 at 1:05 pm 1

By Astigmatism on Was The Obama "Daily Show" Thing Ruined By The Audience?

[Shakes head]
[Mouths "Not true"]

Posted on October 28, 2010 at 12:00 pm 1

By garge on Terrible Genetic Defect Makes People Inquisitive

Alternate title: 'Conscience' Neurotransmitter Discovered

Posted on October 28, 2010 at 11:39 am 2

By Pope of Chilitown on This Is My Year To Finally Poison Some Children

This was the milk that tasted like orange juice. It was such a Balk headline, and then when I clicked through, it was a Choire post.

Posted on October 27, 2010 at 12:53 pm 5

By keisertroll on This Is My Year To Finally Poison Some Children

I used to trick or treat at a Gay's house. All I got were VHS copies of "A Star Is Born".

Posted on October 27, 2010 at 12:48 pm 2