"Acid junkie college flunky dirty puppy daddy bastard" is close to accurate
I've identified with your opinions about dating since your Suck columns; this near-mid-life wisdom makes me want to go back and look them over, despite how I'll cringe remembering how I used to act in relationships.
@Gef the Talking Mongoose I see a Powell's visit in my near future.
@WindowSeat Steltzner is MINE. The earrings, the poofy hair, and the giant gaudy turquoise ring all point to his batting for my team.
@KenWheaton "Consumer"? One pays for an account on Twitter?
@bassknives So what IS the minimum square footage required for the gas- and water-exchange requirements for the human body? I bet you can't get it for under $1K.
I'm pretty sure I read it first on Videogum during the reign of Lindsayism (Never Forget).
YOUTH: "Great, so I'll pick you up at ten."
LIZ LEMON: "At NIGHT?"
I successfully avoided Rebecca Black's "Friday" for months, even after the Awl treatment. I'm betting I can avoid knowledge of "Girls" for EVER.