On The Videogame Artiste
@ReginalTSquirge "“Holy fuck, I’m rich now,” he recalled." / "“It just drives home how fictional money is.”" is when I clicked Christ, What An Asshole.
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On Do You Have Tax Questions? We Will Answer Them!
If I actually devote the hours to becoming a certified preparer, will I end up only doing taxes for my landlady?
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On Now Bicyclists Can Look Smug Through A Layer Of Protective Plastic
@Jared It's hard enough being a safe cyclist without resembling an H.R. Giger creation - now I get to look like a Lego minifigure too!
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On What Books Make You Cringe To Remember?
@Charismatic Megafauna I just now recalled that my first boyfriend, at age sixteen, gifted me some poetry collection called "Orgasms of Light". Dear god how I'd buried THAT memory...
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On What Books Make You Cringe To Remember?
@deepomega The Lesser Known Works of Arthur C. Clarke, including the one where the stars winked out and the sky went black from someone computing all the possible permutations of the "Names of God" (9 billion?), an experiment I immediately tried to replicate on my Commodore 64.
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On "Almost Alcoholics" Just Not Trying Hard Enough
@MParcells "Daddy drinks because you're weren't in pre-calc by 5th grade, sweetie."
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On The Idiot's Guide to Reading Korean
@ericdeamer "...supposedly the shapes of those characters are actually based on the shapes your tongue makes as it pronounces these sounds"
I am now compelled to throw at you a large-print, hardcover copy of Syntactic Structures, in lieu of the tongue-lashing you deserve for repeating such outdated tripe. TRIPE I SAY.
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On The Idiot's Guide to Reading Korean
@Bus Driver Stu Benedict Because voice onset timing is super appropriate for beginner comix?
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On New Military Robots Specially Designed To Give You Nightmares
@Werner Hedgehog Somewhere in the future is a factory powered by the biomechanical energy released during my terrifying screams.
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On My Conversation With A Wells Fargo Fraud Specialist
To be fair, there was a gelato flavor called "lo smack".