Don't shove past people on the subway. Lesson learned. You did something stupid and it produced results that scared you. Now you know you shouldn't do that in the future. You will be better off and so will all of the other subway passengers.
Like I totally get this. Yesterday we were worried about the same problems we are worrying about today and today is yesterday's tomorrow so since today came our worries were overblown. So amazing. Except that like your Doctor telling you that you have a bad lump somewhere in you and you'd better get it biopsied and you don't and worry about it, then you forget about it then you realize six months later you are still alive and you go "Stupid Dr. SO and So he made me worry about nothing." Then the next day you wake up dead. I totally get that also. So there you have it.