What a horrible piece. Alterna-Bro is just the hipster. In 2005, this article would already have been a cliche. Cosmo ran it around 2011. Very un-Awl.
Ok, so this dude loves Magic and his friends do too. Yet, he spends paragraph after paragraph doing the 'schpiel' of making fun of people who play Magic. Why doesn't he make up his mind already, friggin fence-sitter, jeepers creepers. Nothing wrong with liking card games.