LW, three things:
1. I know no one normal. Every once in a while I meet someone and I think, with a pang of jealousy, "They seem cool, and so normal." Then I know them for longer and it turns out that they have their own matched set of emotional luxury luggage. This incredibly together woman I was talking to at work recently told me that her sister died when she was 23 and she spent the last 5 years of her sister's life taking her in and helping her through chemo and then the next 5 years after that paying off hospital and funeral home bills. And I kid you not, she seemed like the poster child for normal--I just had no idea. Sometimes people act light and breezy because that's just how society functions--you do that until you figure out who you can trust with your real life, and that's okay. Don't assume everyone who looks normal is normal. Look closer and you will find soul mates everywhere, because human beings rarely make it through 30 years completely unscathed.
2. Do not ever apologize for your English again, because it is terrific. Truly--you write better than many native speakers.
3. You are amazing. I wish I could give you a standing ovation in a box that you could open whenever you thought this way. Amazing people attract other amazing people--you will find your tribe soon.