On Polly Asks: New York Magazine Wants Me to Write Ask Polly For Them. Should I Tell Them to Piss Off?
Ahhhhhh!!! I do think the world is better off with your advice in it, so if this move will help it spread and bring you lots more moola, I applaud it. We will miss you here, though. It kinda feels like you were invited to sit at a more popular table in the cafeteria, and we can't help but worry those cool kids will try to dilute some of your spark. Stay strong, Polly!
Regardless of the source/reason/impetus, this guy's fast-forwarding behavior is classic for an emotionally unavailable man. I have been down this road myself, and, like you, knew what I should do and what was probably healthy, but took many, many months longer to actually cut it off. I regret that because the cutting off part was much easier than the miserable wind down that came before it. Just do it. He's very clearly not good enough for you. You will find someone much better. I needed to hear that in black and white, and I wish someone like Polly had told me. Take this VERY CLEAR sign from the universe, thank your lucky stars, and move on TODAY!!!
I'm right there with you. I was 22 when my mother died about 9 years ago. The death of a parent is an extraordinarily huge loss at that age - and potentially harder to recover from than if it had happened earlier in childhood - especially for a woman. I agree that it is hard to find friends who will sit with you in your grief through this. They just can't do it. That's where therapy and self care come in, because you have to sit there, mostly by yourself, for however long it takes. I, like Polly, took a "break" before I was done grieving, and it came back to haunt me about 8 years later. I got slapped in the face again with these lessons- bad things do happen to good people, and nobody knows why, and trying to imagine and protect against those bad things either through denial or medication (in the form of busyness, food, alcohol, drugs, or other people) is only going to bring more pain in the long term. So just keep sitting with your grief. You are not alone. Be gentle with yourself, little one. You're so brave.