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On Ask Polly: A Chilling Cautionary Tale About the Dangers of Getting Involved With Attached People

@whizz_dumb Agree. This is pretty much what I was going to write in the post I then decided to delete. There is a difference between serial commitments not working out, and a person (like I was, or like I think this husband is) that are looking for the next-thing-to-fill-their-void while IN a relationship. I would have never even considered myself a serial monogamist because monogamy implies commitment and fidelity.

Posted on August 27, 2014 at 4:06 pm 1

On Ask Polly: A Chilling Cautionary Tale About the Dangers of Getting Involved With Attached People

@not a professional I am intrigued by the 'sibling rivalry' comment ... please explain.

Posted on August 27, 2014 at 4:02 pm 0

On Ask Polly: A Chilling Cautionary Tale About the Dangers of Getting Involved With Attached People

I was a lot like LW's (ex)husband in high school. I went from boyfriend to boyfriend (to sometimes girlfriend), dumping each along the way without giving them any indication of what went wrong. And, as Polly so astutely noted, it was because THERE WASN'T ANYTHING WRONG, either with the person I was dating or with the relationship. So if anyone asked me why I dumped so-and-so, I would have given some lame excuse, sounding a bit like your (ex)husband: "it wasn't going to work out. I got bored." Anyway, so maybe my own therapeutic discovery about myself and why this kind of flitting, narcissistic behavior happened can help you: I was empty. I was needy. I was searching for someone *else* to fill a big self-esteem void in my life. I craved attention to give me a sense of worth when I otherwise had none. I learned how to be charming (roses, dates, attentiveness) but never let myself really care about the other person. In other words, I was a charming piece of shit. I was a phoney. Your (ex)husband is all of those things too. Don't feel bad for getting suckered in. Pity him. Pity his quest for outside affirmation when what he really needs is to fix himself. He will keep on in his random dumping-seeking-dumping-seeking cycle, hurting people like you along the way, until he fills those voids for himself. I'm so ashamed of who I used to be, and how I used people, PLEASE DON'T THINK ITS YOUR FAULT.

Posted on August 27, 2014 at 1:01 pm 5

On The Time I Worked at That Celebrity Bakery

That Brittany Murphy story made my eyes get a little misty. Rest in Peace.

Posted on August 25, 2014 at 4:22 pm 0

On Polly Asks: New York Magazine Wants Me to Write Ask Polly For Them. Should I Tell Them to Piss Off?

@Lily Hudson@facebook Thanks, Lady! I have started reading. Very good!

Posted on August 21, 2014 at 2:18 pm 0

On Polly Asks: New York Magazine Wants Me to Write Ask Polly For Them. Should I Tell Them to Piss Off?

Do we not get advice this week? MY THERAPIST IS ON VACATION AND I NEED THIS. Um, yeah, so . . .I'm such a fangirl. I just hope that your new, wider circle of readers appreciates you as much as the current slate of readers do. Reading and commenting really has been my weekly therapy supplement. Part of me is sad that it will not be such a tight little group as I like to imagine it to be . . .but I am very happy that you're be better compensated for your talents! So congratulations!

I just visited "the Cut" for the first time . . . very sequins. so fashion. much commercial. Can't say I'll visit for anything other than your columns . . .

Posted on August 20, 2014 at 12:54 pm 4

On Six Months, One Week, and Four Days With Zelda

Thank you for writing this. I am eight months pregnant with my first child, and feel both nervous and excited. Reading your story filled me with great calm and assurance. I hope my baby also helps me live in the moment-- I'm usually so caught up in rehashing the past or planning for/worrying about the future.

Posted on August 19, 2014 at 11:58 am 1

On Ask Polly: I Think My New Boyfriend Might Be a Horrible Control Freak

@aglines ; agreed. I think the relationships is new enough, and clearly not intimate enough, to where the LW should just break off communication, or do it simply. A long conversation will not help anything, only make her feel more torn and guilty.

Posted on August 13, 2014 at 3:54 pm 2

On The Pedophiles Who Didn't Want to Hurt Children

This is a side note, but Choire said that she was baffled by the fact that suicide is illegal. Suicide is illegal for a couple good reasons (and not so good reasons). The best reason is so the police can investigate it thoroughly, as a homicide, to make sure it was not actually a murder staged-as-suicide or that there is not another culpable party involved in the death. Also, more cynically, insurance companies have a vested interest in finding out whether someone killed themselves on purpose so their family can collect life insurance. Suicide can easily be a form of insurance fraud, which is illegal. Suicide has also been historically illegal for other property-inheritance purposes (for instance, in England centuries ago, the government could cease your estate if you killed yourself and your family could not inherit anything).

Posted on August 13, 2014 at 2:41 pm 0