On The Time I Worked at That Celebrity Bakery

That Brittany Murphy story made my eyes get a little misty. Rest in Peace.

Posted on August 25, 2014 at 4:22 pm 0

On Polly Asks: New York Magazine Wants Me to Write Ask Polly For Them. Should I Tell Them to Piss Off?

@Lily Hudson@facebook Thanks, Lady! I have started reading. Very good!

Posted on August 21, 2014 at 2:18 pm 0

On Polly Asks: New York Magazine Wants Me to Write Ask Polly For Them. Should I Tell Them to Piss Off?

Do we not get advice this week? MY THERAPIST IS ON VACATION AND I NEED THIS. Um, yeah, so . . .I'm such a fangirl. I just hope that your new, wider circle of readers appreciates you as much as the current slate of readers do. Reading and commenting really has been my weekly therapy supplement. Part of me is sad that it will not be such a tight little group as I like to imagine it to be . . .but I am very happy that you're be better compensated for your talents! So congratulations!

I just visited "the Cut" for the first time . . . very sequins. so fashion. much commercial. Can't say I'll visit for anything other than your columns . . .

Posted on August 20, 2014 at 12:54 pm 4

On Six Months, One Week, and Four Days With Zelda

Thank you for writing this. I am eight months pregnant with my first child, and feel both nervous and excited. Reading your story filled me with great calm and assurance. I hope my baby also helps me live in the moment-- I'm usually so caught up in rehashing the past or planning for/worrying about the future.

Posted on August 19, 2014 at 11:58 am 1

On Ask Polly: I Think My New Boyfriend Might Be a Horrible Control Freak

@aglines ; agreed. I think the relationships is new enough, and clearly not intimate enough, to where the LW should just break off communication, or do it simply. A long conversation will not help anything, only make her feel more torn and guilty.

Posted on August 13, 2014 at 3:54 pm 2

On The Pedophiles Who Didn't Want to Hurt Children

This is a side note, but Choire said that she was baffled by the fact that suicide is illegal. Suicide is illegal for a couple good reasons (and not so good reasons). The best reason is so the police can investigate it thoroughly, as a homicide, to make sure it was not actually a murder staged-as-suicide or that there is not another culpable party involved in the death. Also, more cynically, insurance companies have a vested interest in finding out whether someone killed themselves on purpose so their family can collect life insurance. Suicide can easily be a form of insurance fraud, which is illegal. Suicide has also been historically illegal for other property-inheritance purposes (for instance, in England centuries ago, the government could cease your estate if you killed yourself and your family could not inherit anything).

Posted on August 13, 2014 at 2:41 pm 0

On Ask Polly: I Think My New Boyfriend Might Be a Horrible Control Freak

If you feel diminished, its time to go. This feeling is not the same as having an overly analytical thought or tricking yourself with your sharp chop-choppy mind. No one should make you feel that way. A feeling is what it is, and you can't expect yourself to "get over" by thinking your way out of it. Its a very good sign that you've had some "meh" relationships between these two bad ones. That means you know the difference between someone who is OK/Decent/non-abusive, and whatever THIS guy is. With THIS guy, there is something especially BAD (not just "meh") and you need to trust your gut and get out before you get too enmeshed.

Posted on August 13, 2014 at 2:12 pm 1

On Ask Polly: I Want People to Know the Real Me But It Just Won't Come Out

Dear LW, take comfort in the knowledge that you DO have some vague sense of self. At 19, I did not have any "self"; I lived purely for the reaction and affirmation of the outside world. As long as the reaction that I got was good, then I succeeded. I was very charming and very empty. I think its wonderful, at 19, that you are so thoughtful about what you say and that you spend time exploring whether it is what you mean or don't mean or how you feel or just a cliché. Thats great. Whatever conclusions you come to, value them. Value your opinions and also give other people the benefit of the doubt that they are also trying to figure out their opinions. Explore them together and you'll both benefit from being known. It is also OK to have a conversation that you start by saying "I don't know how I feel about _________, but I think its important." That's a humble and perfectly reasonable way to approach the world. Not everyone needs to be an editorial writer for the New York Times or a pundit on Fox News. Ie, being overly sure in your opinions can be obnoxious when the world is full of many perspectives.

Posted on August 6, 2014 at 1:40 pm 2

On Ask Polly: Should I Cut My Abusive Mother Out of My Life Forever?

@Myrtle Dude. Yes. I just finally cut out my last-in-a-series of narcissistic, angry, with-holding friends. I always had one (sometimes romantic, sometimes platonic) that I was OBSESSED about pleasing and impressing. I'm working really hard with my therapist at not making any more of these friends. Then she asked me about my husband. I was like "Well, at first, I questioned whether I was actually in love with him because I wasn't obsessed with him, thinking about him constantly, and worried all the time about how he felt about me. I just felt good, and safe, and secure." Not that my marriage or husband are perfect, but I would classify my husbands faults as "minor annoyances" (ie, do the f'n dishes for once!) instead of dysfunctional behavior. I never worry, like with my mother or my other dysfunctional friendships, that he is going to blow up at me over nothing, insult me, or abandon me.

Posted on August 1, 2014 at 12:18 pm 3

On Ask Polly: Should I Cut My Abusive Mother Out of My Life Forever?

@Tamlin Eve@facebook Thanks you for sharing-- what a painful story. Sounds like you made a really good decision. Your mother wasn't going to protect you, so you had the courage to protect yourself.

Posted on July 31, 2014 at 6:28 pm 1