On Our Obese World

Less Rotherham, more Rothersprouts.

Posted on April 13, 2012 at 1:37 pm 1

On Where Do Liberals Say They'll Move Now if Obama Loses?

No lie! I had a dream last night that Santorum won (!) and we moved to Sao Paulo.

Posted on April 3, 2012 at 11:30 am 1

On Old Man Explains That Things Were Better In His Day

@HiredGoons That's pretty good. But back when I was writing ironic reflection, we had more authenticity and really ... (etc. etc. but, really, that was a fun read thanks for sharing it!)

Posted on March 13, 2012 at 7:48 pm 0

On Old Man Explains That Things Were Better In His Day

My generation never complained about how unique we were and how things were different when we were coming up. Generations today aren't like that, it's what set us apart.

Posted on March 13, 2012 at 4:43 pm 3

On 'The Artist' And What Makes A Movie 'Foreign'

"If The Artist wins, it will be the first really 'foreign' movie ever to have done so, even though it won't count." Oh, I don't know. I'd certainly classify silence as a foreign language in this country.

Posted on February 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm 3

On Free Subway Rag Now Literally Destroying America

Has journalism descended into next-level cynicism, or is it simply an extension of the same attitude that has infected our political system at larOH MY GOD A FREE 6 MONTH NETFLIX SUBSCRIPTION!

Posted on January 25, 2012 at 9:32 am 1

On It's Time for Michelle Obama to Get Pregnant

This is a much better plot device than Canadian Bacon's.

Posted on January 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm 3

On Fake Cigarettes Will Help You Meet Fake Friends

Social is the future. Embrace it. Like I did with my new line of social urinal cakes. Urine activated as a "check-in" and tells your friends on Twitter, Facebook and Four-Square where you are, how much you're releasing, and - perhaps most importantly - your BAC. If you're over the legal limit, a cab willbe called to take you home. Theres also a competition feature. Who can pee the most in one night! Beat your friends, or even the drunk stranger next to you. Check us out: I'mInYou'reIn.com

Posted on May 11, 2011 at 9:27 am 4

On Cigarettes Officially Banned in Times Square, Central Park

Great. Liberal agenda taking away more personal freedoms. Next they're going to tell me I can't sell drugs outside the Elementary School anymore! I'm moving to Egypt.

Posted on February 3, 2011 at 9:04 am 0

On In Sympathy With Candle Sniffers

This exists! I'm so ... fascinated. I should be watching Egypt coverage, but. I. Can't. Turn. Away!

Posted on February 1, 2011 at 9:24 am 0