Great answer, except for the comments about joint custody of a "fucking dog," especially coming from someone who chose to get into a relationship with someone who has a lot more baggage than joint custody of a dog! Seems like there's a lot of magical thinking going on in your own life when you can willingly sign on for joint custody of a HUMAN BEING someone else made with someone else, then glibly say "his ex-wife doesn't loom large in my life; she's just a person I hardly know." Really? Aren't you raising her kid? I presume she shows up regularly on your doorstep to collect her child and does all the things this woman's BF's ex does with respect to collecting the dogs. Do you put your fingers in yours ears, close your eyes and hum when she shows up every week to get little Kayleee or Krandall? Or when said child talks about their mommy all the time, because kids (unlike dogs) just F-ing love being shuttled from house to house. Maybe you could share your magical abilities for for compartmentalizing and denial (I'm not bothered by being second cause I just pretend I'm not second! Besides, he says I'm his first REAL marriage so I'll just forget that other lady existed.) instead of passing such harsh judgment on whatever arrangement this woman's ex has set up re: his dogs.