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On Enjoy Your New Era Of Internet-Enabled Intimacy While It Lasts, Because The Psychos Are Going To Show Up Pretty Soon

Re. the alt-text : Wait, are you implying that circle jerks aren't intimate? Apparently, I've been living a lie.

Alternate take : Apparently, I have the worst therapist.

Posted on April 23, 2014 at 2:23 pm 0

On Portland Teen Makes Water Artisanal

I was not previously aware that urine contains fluoride. Huh.

Posted on April 17, 2014 at 4:26 pm 1

On Oysters Shucked

@KarenUhOh : YESSS these are the anecdotes for which comments were invented.

Posted on April 17, 2014 at 2:21 pm 3

On The End Of Comments

@BadUncle : All of my critical responses have been posted because I'm just inherently a bad person.

Except the half-ass copy-editing, of course. That's because I'm a fastidious bad person.

Posted on April 15, 2014 at 11:09 am 0

On The End Of Comments

@BadUncle : YOURE JUST A GUN HATING LIBRUL

Alternate take : (cat gif)

Posted on April 15, 2014 at 11:06 am 6

On The End Of Comments

@barnhouse : Admittedly, I only read posts that already have comments on them. It's kind of a low-hanging-fruit deal, I dunno.

Posted on April 15, 2014 at 10:47 am 0

On The End Of Comments

Please don't make me get a Gawker account just to satiate my urge to comment.

Posted on April 15, 2014 at 10:46 am 1

On The Girl With The YOLO Tattoo

@Clarence Rosario : An entire catalogue, you say? Dedicated solely not to dry goods, or to sundries, but instead to -- thoughts, those most ephemeral of commodities? What a delightfully peculiar notion! And perhaps that peculiar notion itself, being a thought ... is also contained within your catalogue of thoughts! Oh, how merry indeed that would be!

Posted on April 14, 2014 at 1:47 pm 0

On Maybe Shoving Kids In Front Of TVs Isn't The Best Way To Calm Them Down: Study

@spambot model "jane cox" : Congratulations on the most disturbing spam comment so far today.

Posted on April 14, 2014 at 12:59 pm 0

On The Girl With The YOLO Tattoo

@okay yes : I entertained that possibility, but innate pessimism ruled it out.

But I would be perfectly happy to be wrong! And by "perfectly happy," I mean "sweat-sopping, dodged-a-bullet-there happy".

Alternate take : It's no Catskills ibex farm, either way.

Posted on April 13, 2014 at 2:26 pm 0