@Gef the Talking Mongoose : I'm going to set up my autocorrect dictionary to auto-vocal-fry everything I type so it allllll comesss out liiiiike thiiizzzzz.
@amockingbird : Well, seeing as how it will undoubtedly autocorrect "aspirate" as "asspirate," Choire's iPhone will never be fit for medical use.
@jolie : It seems totally reasonable that it should always be CHOIRE, if not CHOIRRRRRRE.
Also, Amtrak. Like they could have come up with a more underachieving name, or a less pleasant one to say. It straight-up sounds like a Soviet weather station or munition or maybe both. We will achieve greater national glory with AMTRAK deployment.
So, basically, a more efficient version of Marina Abramović. I'm down with that.
@jolie : On my way!
Also, I feel that a shortcut that turns a typed "fuck" into "fuuuuuuuck" would be the best thing ever. I'm doing that right now.
@Freddie DeBoer : I skipped down to comments just to point this out, so I'm glad you beat me to it.
By the halfway point, I would have been throwing a serious culture fit.
@SidAndFinancy : Pace Blake,
Obey thou the words of the Talking Mongoose
All that is cool must be un-cooled
That the Commenters of Gawker may be saved from Kinja
@John Herrman : I liked this website back before it wasn't cool.