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On Ask Polly: My Boyfriend Thinks I'm Ugly

@KarenUhOh : As a man, I'm inclined to agree. On my worst days, I should probably have my typing fingers confiscated, too.

Posted on March 19, 2014 at 1:53 pm 0

On So Much For Liberalism's Last Chance

Oh, it's Maureen Dowd? Well, then, fuck it, who cares.

Alternate take : Is it a Maureen-Dowd-after-three-glasses-of-wine column or a Maureen-Dowd-found-the-bottle-of-Old-Granddad column? Asking for a friend, etc. etc.

Posted on March 19, 2014 at 10:25 am 2

On How To Teach Creative Writing To Undergrads While Being A Feminist Harpy

@aesir : "gunner."

Posted on March 18, 2014 at 11:26 pm 0

On How To Teach Creative Writing To Undergrads While Being A Feminist Harpy

@oskomena : I just get in five minutes before class and do a little pre-class ideology fumigation with a can of Received-Consciousness-B-Gon.

Alternate take : "But I always push back on social issues." Just what I want in an editor.

Posted on March 18, 2014 at 11:18 am 0

On How To Teach Creative Writing To Undergrads While Being A Feminist Harpy

@BadUncle : That was, oh my God.

Posted on March 18, 2014 at 11:16 am 1

On "South by Southwest Used To Be About The Music, Man": Wall Street Journal

For what it's worth, my brain read "Lady Gaga on the Doritos" with the same syntax as "Jam Master Jay on the ones and twos".

Posted on March 18, 2014 at 11:13 am 2

On Let's Keep Pretending People Read!

Surprisingly, the highest scorers on the SAT reading-comprehension section are actually spambots.

Alternate take : Like Rachel said, I earned lorem ipsum dollars a day just consectetur adipisicing from home!!!*! Thank you for your site, your insight are always refreshing.

Posted on March 14, 2014 at 2:05 pm 1

On Key Perplexing

@Clarence Rosario : I JUST NEVER TURN IT OFF SO MY TEXTS LOOK LIKE THEY CAME FROM YOUR GRANDMA. HOPE YOU GOT THE TEN DOLLARS ($10) I SENT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY, LOVE NANA.

Posted on March 13, 2014 at 12:03 pm 2

On "A day doesn’t go by where you don’t hear about more bank layoffs and branch closings."

The writer of that headline deserves a special Pulitzer for Outstanding Subtlety in Sarcasm.

Alternate take : Sorry, Mr. Potter, Clarence is off-duty today.

Posted on March 10, 2014 at 11:44 am 0

On And How Was Your SXSW?

Every time I see that guy, I get intensely paranoid about my hair.

Posted on March 10, 2014 at 10:16 am 0