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On How I Got My iPhone to Finally Let Me Swear

@Gef the Talking Mongoose : I'm going to set up my autocorrect dictionary to auto-vocal-fry everything I type so it allllll comesss out liiiiike thiiizzzzz.

Posted on June 23, 2014 at 3:30 pm 0

On How I Got My iPhone to Finally Let Me Swear

@amockingbird : Well, seeing as how it will undoubtedly autocorrect "aspirate" as "asspirate," Choire's iPhone will never be fit for medical use.

Posted on June 23, 2014 at 3:27 pm 1

On How I Got My iPhone to Finally Let Me Swear

@jolie : It seems totally reasonable that it should always be CHOIRE, if not CHOIRRRRRRE.

Also, Amtrak. Like they could have come up with a more underachieving name, or a less pleasant one to say. It straight-up sounds like a Soviet weather station or munition or maybe both. We will achieve greater national glory with AMTRAK deployment.

Posted on June 23, 2014 at 3:25 pm 0

On An Afternoon in the Gaze of Braco

So, basically, a more efficient version of Marina Abramović. I'm down with that.

Posted on June 23, 2014 at 3:00 pm 0

On How I Got My iPhone to Finally Let Me Swear

@jolie : On my way!

Also, I feel that a shortcut that turns a typed "fuck" into "fuuuuuuuck" would be the best thing ever. I'm doing that right now.

Posted on June 23, 2014 at 2:54 pm 0

On Ebola and You

@Freddie DeBoer : I skipped down to comments just to point this out, so I'm glad you beat me to it.

Posted on June 20, 2014 at 3:06 pm 0

On The View from Tom Friedman's Next New World

By the halfway point, I would have been throwing a serious culture fit.

Posted on June 17, 2014 at 2:20 pm 1

On The View from Tom Friedman's Next New World

@holdup!holdmyphone! : idea moustache

Posted on June 17, 2014 at 2:19 pm 1

On The Problem of Coolness, Solved

@SidAndFinancy : Pace Blake,

Obey thou the words of the Talking Mongoose
All that is cool must be un-cooled
That the Commenters of Gawker may be saved from Kinja
etc. etc.

Posted on June 16, 2014 at 3:59 pm 0

On The Problem of Coolness, Solved

@John Herrman : I liked this website back before it wasn't cool.

Posted on June 16, 2014 at 1:17 pm 2