On Job Open
@Aatom : "Canned posts"? Please. Those are just the product of Choire's copy of "Super Silly Mad Libs 2" and a thesaurus open to the entry for "despair".
2
On Job Open
@Denial : Also, if the recent addition of amusing alt-texts to images was not enough of a technological revolution for you, WELL THEN.
4
On Job Open
@Denial : Is that the 2013 where every site has to have parallax css scrolling with big ol' interstitial images? Thanks, but noooooooooooooo.
7
On Job Open
@Freddie DeBoer : I am admittedly fond of the phrase "the moral compass of a columnist".
0
On Incoming Men's Fashion Trend Disaster: "The Single-Pleated Chino"
@My Number Is My Address : I'm going to assume that the pleat goes on the side you dress on. Or the opposite side, if you prefer to show off the goods.
I think I'm joking, here. Waiting on the inevitable interview with the designer of said trousers to confirm.
2
On Younger People Eat Differently
@dinosaur_senior : I was going to make a joke about a nominal Tumblr called, amusingly, mypoop.tumblr.com. Oh, how we would have laughed at the ludicrous notion that such a thing might possibly exist! That it would, of course, be filled with images of a person's bowel movements! Impossible! Hilariously impossible!
Of course, I was naive.
Tragically, tragically naive.
(*hastily clears browser cookies*)
0
On Younger People Eat Differently
OK, so on the table I see peanuts, green tea lights, and ... are those chopped-up Slim Jims? Man, I would be right there mass-texting photos with that guy, like THE RECESSION IS REALLY KILLING FINGER FOOD Y'ALL.
Alternate take : "The service at Chez Coffeetables was very attentive, and the chef's decision to serve the beanies and the weenies in separate dishes was refreshingly authentic."
1
On Man Thinks About Sex When He Looks At People
@Drawn7979 : Can we please, please ban this "invisible"-JPG-embedding bot? It's all I want for Christmas.
2
On Just In Time For The Death Of The Album Cover
@Peteykins : Right? I'm not sure what's wrong with the printer but the print quality makes me suspect it was "printed" by someone with a spare two hours and a hot glue gun.
0
On Grain Names, In Order Of Suitability As Names For A Heavy Metal Band
@whizz_dumb : Dammit, Bry, all this tells me is that YOU'RE NOT HUNGRY ENOUGH TO BE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF.