@rich bachelor Seconded. I see both sides, I really do. And I feel bad for FUAX's mother and I feel bad for FUAX because in this situation, no matter who does what, someone is going to be butthurt about it. And that right there is the problem. It's the holidays. It's supposed to be time to relax and share with those you love and ENJOY the time together. As an adult couple with no children, I respect that they want to maximize the mutual vacation in a way where they're calling the shots. Also, here's a thought, instead of projecting her guilt from her father's death, what if it was Polly's partner who had passed suddenly and she hadn't gotten to spend a quiet, special holiday alone with them like they'd always wanted? Might add a different perspective.