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On Ask Polly: I Am Severely Chafed By My Gentle, Compassionate Boyfriend

@Subway Suicide@twitter I definitely agree chemistry isn't sufficient on its own, but I think it's necessary.

Posted on December 12, 2013 at 12:36 pm 0

On Ask Polly: I Am Severely Chafed By My Gentle, Compassionate Boyfriend

Whenever I've gotten to that point with a partner where his tics drive me nuts or turn me off, it's time for me to say goodbye. To me, the letter writer doesn't sound like she's got to hang in there so much as she has to get out. He's a good guy, genuinely. He's good on paper. He holds out the promise of much-needed stability to her. But it really sounds like she's trying to force a relationship (on her end) with someone she's fundamentally incompatible with, and that's not fair to either partner.

My ex's lip would curl when he talked, and I hated it, hated his mouth, couldn't stand to look at him. That extreme reaction to such a minor tic told me a lot about how I really felt about the guy. I felt like he pawed at me when I wanted to be caressed. We just weren't compatible. Since that relationship ended 2.5 years ago, I've decided that some things in relationships need to be easy (like physical/sexual intimacy) to get through the inevitable tough stuff.

Posted on December 11, 2013 at 5:44 pm 1