Huh, this is interesting. I have a friend (no really, it's not me) who is very fun, smart, and witty, so she has no problem making friends. Only a lot of these friends end up being incredibly needy, and as a woman with a demanding job plus a husband and kid, she's not able to give them the time and attention they need. (Most of them need therapists, not sympathetic friends.) We've talked about it and I've always been stymied about why this happens to her in particular. This is not exactly the same situation, but it does provide some insights!
@City_Dater Yeah, I guess "being a dick" IS inherently masculine, but to imply that's all it is is kind of insulting to menfolk.
I once got ONE margarita in the Cancun airport waiting for my flight home--it was so strong and large that I got so drunk I honestly was worried about being able to walk to the gate.
@Polina V. Yamshchikov@facebook Castelvetrano olives 4-EVAH
@themegnapkin Also realizing that what you have been told will make you happy, or what you assume will make you happy, will not always make you happy.
@geekspice Um in fact I go without booze for days at a time and I rarely have more than a glass or two of wine with dinner when I do imbibe. (That's what middle age does to you, kids!) What I meant was, having to deal with that family situation without the sweet relief of a drink or two was a deal-breaker for me. That's why I said "in this situation" in my original post. But hey, why not assume the worst with minimal information?
@bmichael Should be "your"
Honestly not trying to be flip here, but the "no booze" part would be the dealbreaker for me in this situation--and I don't even drink that much. What about if they came to the festivities but stayed at a hotel? That seems like a decent compromise. She doesn't want them sleeping together at her house, fine, but she should understand that means they don't want to stay there.
Yes yes yes yes. You never hear about ladies putting guys on pedestals, but we do. And then when they reveal themselves to be actual flawed human beings with needs and insecurities, it's so horrifying. I have finally gotten to the point where I'm over this and have an awesome boyfriend who is absolutely not perfect, and he knows I am not perfect, and it is all wonderful.
@fiveoneeight Me too! With some slight differences. In my case I have tried freelancing, starting my own business, etc, and while I was successful, if not insanely so on the financial end, it didn't make me happy. I enjoy the security of my office job but it's not fulfilling and I think I'm wasting my talents. This holding pattern has to end but I'm not sure what to do. Maybe Polly's answer is the start.