On Polly Asks: New York Magazine Wants Me to Write Ask Polly For Them. Should I Tell Them to Piss Off?

That is great! I am sure the Awl will be sorry to lose you but you can still write for them occasionally, right? Right? Unless you are too busy picking out exotic cheeses, of course.

Posted on August 20, 2014 at 12:36 pm 1

On The Inflatable Thought Leader

@Ralph Haygood My boss is always telling me to position myself as a "thought leader." I want to get it printed on a trucker hat.

Posted on July 9, 2014 at 11:05 am 0

On Ask Polly: How Do I Make My Boyfriend Listen?

@thegirlieshow Other people do this too? Mine is "My Life Is a Beige Pointless Landscape."

Posted on April 16, 2014 at 4:03 pm 2

On How Should We Deal With The Worst Of The Internet?

This guy hates women, period. Why? Well, that's not my problem to figure out. But why I should give two fucks about someone who clearly has a huge problem with half of the human species is beyond me.

Posted on March 25, 2014 at 3:24 pm 3

On Ask Polly: My Boyfriend Thinks I'm Ugly

@davidwatts This wasn't one thing, like "Oh, you'd look good with your hair long!" It was several things. If you have to suggest that many "improvements" to your partner, the problem is yours, not theirs. If you are not physically attracted to someone, you shouldn't be going out with them.

Posted on March 19, 2014 at 3:39 pm 5

On Ask Polly: My Terrific Herd Of Friends Is Being Ruined By This Awful Freak

Huh, this is interesting. I have a friend (no really, it's not me) who is very fun, smart, and witty, so she has no problem making friends. Only a lot of these friends end up being incredibly needy, and as a woman with a demanding job plus a husband and kid, she's not able to give them the time and attention they need. (Most of them need therapists, not sympathetic friends.) We've talked about it and I've always been stymied about why this happens to her in particular. This is not exactly the same situation, but it does provide some insights!

Posted on February 26, 2014 at 1:25 pm 0

On Bullies Bullied By Women: Man

@City_Dater Yeah, I guess "being a dick" IS inherently masculine, but to imply that's all it is is kind of insulting to menfolk.

Posted on January 14, 2014 at 2:32 pm 0

On Things You Can Do At JFK For 8 Hours

I once got ONE margarita in the Cancun airport waiting for my flight home--it was so strong and large that I got so drunk I honestly was worried about being able to walk to the gate.

Posted on January 13, 2014 at 6:49 pm 0

On Olives, Ranked

@Polina V. Yamshchikov@facebook Castelvetrano olives 4-EVAH

Posted on January 13, 2014 at 12:43 pm 0

On Ask Polly: My Parents Don't Want Me To Marry This Short Man And I'm Freaking Out!

@themegnapkin Also realizing that what you have been told will make you happy, or what you assume will make you happy, will not always make you happy.

Posted on January 7, 2014 at 6:08 pm 2